Khalid Shaikh Mohammed: Coming to America II

Khalid Shaikh Mohammed should have changed his last name to McVeigh or some other American white Anglo Saxon name the minute he decided to plot the attack on the World Trade Center. Let’s face it: the Mohammad’s and Hassan’s haven’t actually been receiving much love here in the United States for some time now. Hell, the U.S. Government under the auspices of the Bush administration all but named the Patriot Act after them. Which essentially has made life harder for the other brown man. No, not the fence jumpers, silly; the ones affectionately referred to as sand n*ggers.

So now Milk Shake Mohammed is being brought to the scene of the crime, New York City, to be put on trial, and certain people are not happy about it. So much so that it promted my man the Field Negro to suggest: Why don’t we just stone him to death in Times Square.Well, knowing our cultural mindset as it relates to violence in this country, I’d say that it’s not a bad idea. Only problem, some asshole would still be unhappy and raise all types of hell about the 8th Amendment and that whole “cruel and unusual punishment” thing.

Let’s face it: in this country we don’t really like sentencing people to death just for death’s sake. We’d prefer that they suffer for the rest of their natural lives. Well, that’s unless you’re a Black dude with the last name Mohammed and then they hurry your ass to the front of the death row pick up window line. In truth, carrying out a death sentence is sorta like that make up call in professional football, and basketball. And yes, I realize that I’m already predicting that they’re going to kill this dude. Do you really think the outcome would be different?

Let’s be real: he’s not exactly going to be tried in front of a jury of his peers unless they happen to subpoena every middle eastern immigrant who works or runs a corner store in New York for jury selection. And, er, um, I don’t see them being that generous any time soon. So yeah, as hypocritical as it sounds coming from me, DJ Khalid “We Da Best” Mohammed is already a dead man walking. Which is probably what he wants anyway – who wouldn’t wanna die as a martyr, get shouted out on Al Queda rap records and videos, and have sex with hundreds of virgins for eternity, right?

Which is why in the interest of all concerned, I propose that the Justice Department open up a kissing booth carnival style at Times Square for the self-described mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks. Only difference is that instead of paying to give him a kiss, the gov’t could pay people to waterboard the bastard in public, so everyone can be happy! I’m just sayin’: it was cool when he was at Guantanamo Bay, why not make it a public spectacle in the interest of keeping us safe, and serving justice? Hey, torture enhanced interrogations worked for us over the last 8yrs, right? Yeah, skip the trial; let’s satisfy the appetites of the knuckle-dragging barbarians conservative noise makers among us with some good ole government sanctioned entertainment.

New York being a tourist capital and all would serve as the best location, especially with the rest of the world watching. To be honest with you, it would actually deter any future terrorist attempted acts in America from any Islamic extremist ideologue. I mean, why would you wanna attack this country in the name of Islam if you’d miss out on the whole sex with virgins thing, and have people simulate drowning on you for the rest of your life? Hopefully Attorney General Eric Holder reads this blog as he and Barack Obama do all blogs and tweets, and considers my proposal. I wouldn’t even care if he takes all the credit for it.