Toyota needs to hire ‘Joe Isuzu’

I’m currently in the market for a new car. Actually, I’ve been doing research online – something I’ve never done before – for about the last six months. This last week has been hectic as me and Mrs. RiPPa have been running around the city test driving cars. With all the negative talk surrounding Toyota, and having listened to testimony by consumers on Capitol Hill. Let’s just say that when I encounter Toyota products at dealerships, I treat them like a possible HIV/AIDS infested stripper working the pole at any local shake joint. I’m just sayin’, you can’t trust a big butt and a smile anymore these days; and, for right now the truth is, Toyota is that bitch.

Which is ironic because I could remember when “The Big Three” had to come crawling to DC to be bailed out by the government. The so informed court of public opinion gave them hell for making shitty gas guzzling cars, and pissed on their graves in Detroit. And they did this all the while suggesting that it served them right because they should have gotten with the times like Toyota and other foreign auto manufacturers. If only we knew that Toyota’s profit margin was more important than the 34 deaths they’re accountable for in America.

But like Jay-Z said, “It was allgood a week ago,” when people were screaming, “Buy American.” Hopefully all of this doesn’t lead to a return to any conflict between the USA and Japan. Especially since we import everything we consume from those cats and their Chinese cousins. The last thing we need, is to import “stuff” other than baby cribs with lead.

I don’t know if anyone in an executive position for Toyota is reading my blogs. But just in case they are, here’s some advice: If you guys are to regain customer confidence after thuis latest bumpin the road. Do yourself a favor and hire that guy “Joe Isuzu” to do your commercials. Remember him? Sure he was lying in those commercials back in the day, but he was entertaining. And that fact alone just might lead would be consumers back into the fold for Toyota. Nothing like a little misdirection to help would be consumers forget about the possibility of slamming into the back of a car or a wall when their gas pedal gets stuck, right?

Speaking of which, checkout this amazing story involving a one time Toyota owner and what happened to him while driving his Camry back in 2006. He’s currently serving an 8yr prison sentence for vehicular homicide which resulted in the death of three people. According to him then, the accident was no fault of his but his Toyota Camry, and it’s gas pedal:

I’ono yo, but I believe him yo…