I’m a nice guy. I mean a REALLY nice guy. I never really freak out at a waiter who’s retarded or really slap the shit outta the dude at the Gap cause he brought me the wrong size pants. I’m pretty patient as long as I’m treated with respect. Things are slowly changing for me though. Why you ask? Well, cause I’ve realized, after several years working in sales, that all people are dirt. From the nice bubbly ones to the bitchy bastards. They’re all the same. They want something and nothing else matters to them.

“Who cares if my demands are outrageous and stupid! I want it done now!”.

There are still a few of us respectful/reasonable people left, but we’re fading fast! There’s no use in fighting the urge to become a prick. We’re all becoming one whether we like it or not. I mean how fun is it to go to a restaurant just to see if you can get some poor waitress fired on the spot? They should make a Reality TV/Gameshow out of this. Have a bunch of people go out trying to get “real” people fired on the spot by making random shit up.

“Hello mister Manger of the Red lobster. I saw your employee sprinkle dandruff from his/her head on the ceasar salads!”


“Hi! I’m with the child protection agency and we’ve identified Mike, who works in your Gap Kids department, as a possible child molestor. Just thought you should know.”

Anyone out there wants to help start this project?

Let me know.

Oh yeah, and none of that “Punked” shit with rich people.