As a department manager at my place of employment, with charge of a substantial number of employees, I hated when people would call in sick. I never hated the fact that they got sick. I mean people get sick all the time. What I hated were the people who lied to get the day off.

People like that always pissed me off. You know, like the people who call in sick and unable to work because they have the flu when in reality they were at the club the night before and accidentally shot themselves in the thigh? Yeah, you know, people like that? I used to hate giving people the day off due to illness only to run into them on my lunch break at the mall looking the picture of perfect health. I especially loved when I would see them but they never saw me. But at a club, you can’t pull that shit off.

I’ve actually fired a guy at a club before. That asshole called in sick one Friday. Nobody calls in sick on a Friday because its payday so I believed this chowder head. Hell, I even arranged to have his girlfriend come to the job and pick up his check. Only to go to the club later that night and run into that prick. Yeah, I fired him on the spot. And would you believe that dummy had the nerve to come to the job the following Monday and produce a doctor’s note and ask for his job back?

What the fuck is up with Plaxico Burress? How in the hell you shoot yourself in the thigh on accident at a nightclub? And why after you’ve been declared unhealthy enough to play football, you take your ass to a club. Seems to me that if I’m paying you millions of dollars, and you’re unable to show up for work, the last place you should be is in a damn nightclub. You might think I’m wrong or being hard on the guy, and for that I understand. But this asshole has been in trouble with the team pretty much the whole damn season. And now with this error in judgment this guy stands to lose out on 24 million dollars of a recently signed 27 million dollar contract. My bad, it was a 35 MILLION dollar contract; the 24 MILLION was just a small signing bonus. With the unemployment rate as high as it is in this country right now, you’d think this dude would act right, and not jeopardize his job. But no, niggas always gotta prove how hardcore they are.

He’s been fined, and suspended for missing practice for taking his kid to school. I mean being father of the year is important and all, but just saying fuck work and not even calling in to spend time with your kid or family should get you fired. I don’t give a damn that he helped them win the Superbowl last year, that fool needs to be fired. He should have been fired then but they let him slide. I guess coach Tom Coughlin has gotten soft or something. Coach is well known around the league for being a stickler for the rules, but this just goes to show that you just can’t reach everybody. If it were me, that clown would have been gone, and there would have been no distractions the likes of the Stephon Marbury debacle with the New York Knicks.

I’m still trying to find out how Burress accidentaly shot himself, and why did he have a gun. I mean with the rash of athletes being robbed I could kinda understand the gun thing. But why did they the club bouncers allow him to even bring a gun in the spot. What, just because he’s a star athlete makes him exempt from the rules? I mean really? Why the gun Plaxico? Couldn’t you at least have the standard ghetto issued pitbull? Sure its hard to sneak a pitbull in the club, but you’re an NFL player and everybody knows how you Negroes love your dogs so I’m sure they would have let you slide.

Hell if the pitbull had bitten someone in the club, nobody would be mad. They’d just think that you cared enough about your dogs entertainment to show him a night on the town rather than have him fight for his life all the while earn you money for the rent. For real though! White people kiss their dogs in the mouth. They would have just blamed the idiot who’s ass that wonderful pet took a chunk out of instead. The organization PETA would have been protesting the club for letting ignorant fools in the club to fuck with the pitbull. But fuck that, most importantly, I’d like to know why his always hurt, can’t stay healthy ass, wasn’t sitting at home soaking his crusty feet in epsom salts instead of being at the club on a Friday night. I’m sorry, but the New York Giants need to give him the boot immediately.