Look, a lot of you after reading this are going to think I’m crazy. I also think that some of you would think I should be committed to a state run hospital where patients wear tin foil on their heads. That’s cool, but I feel its my duty to share with you people the truth as I always do. No longer can I sit idly by as you people accept what’s told to you by our government. It is my hope that more Americans are brave like me to come forth and lead fellow Americans towards the light. Having said that, I want you to pay attention to what I have to tell you.
Osama Bin Laden is a Leprechaun.
Yes, it’s true, and it’s time you people knew it. You see for years we’ve been lead to believe that this man – the face of everything evil in this world – was a Middle Eastern terrorist. But this image of that man is so far from the truth. So why or how do you know this RiPPa? Well you see, it’s not that I’m a conspiracy theorist, I was Christened Catholic. And yes I was, named after St. Patrick. Today being St. Patty’s day, I see it fit to come forth with the proper information concerning this man.
Ok, here’s something to think about. Bin Laden recently released a new audio, right? Yes he did. And he just celebrated a birthday not too many days ago, right? Uh huh, he’s 52yrs old now. Do you think there’s any coincidence that he did all of that just in time for St. Patrick’s Day? Do you think if he was really Muslim that he would actually be careful enough to do all of this right around the time of the recognition of a Catholic saint? Exactly! If anything, he would have waited until the holy month of Ramadan. But no, instead, he came out with his audio release just to let people know that he was looking forward to celebrating his birthday, and getting sloppy drunk off of green beer, and groping unsuspecting women in bars.
And to think all this time you people thought he was some crazy six foot plus tall jihadist. The fuckin guy is a midget who drinks a lot for crying out loud. Having said that, I seriously doubt that he had anything to do with 9/11. Trust me, people who like to drink (i.e. Irish Midgets aka Leprechauns) are into partying and not death and destruction as our gov’t would have you believe. But yet, here we are in Afghanistan, 8yrs later, and still no Bin Laden. Surely in an 8yr time span you would think the military would have found at least one dialysis machine in one of those caves, right? Wrong! Instead, they’ve found nothing. And now our current president is vowingt to step up the number of troops in Afghanistan.
Don’t you think it’s strange that a president who was against the war in Iraq, is intent on escalating troop levels in Afghanistan? Especially since we’ve been there longer than in Iraq?!! Uh huh, I bet you didn’t even realize that one, nor do you know why. You see boys and girls, with the economy being as fucked up as it is, you’d think Barack Obama would be against any more spending in the war effort in Afghanistan. He’s told us that more troops there are necessary to stabilize the region because it’s a breeding ground for the Taliban. Bullshit! The truth is, Obama knows that Bin Laden is a Leprechaun and he’s really and truly after his gold just like those Lucky Charm kids.
Yes, the US Gov’t is not telling you people that the end of the rainbow is really in Afghanistan. Uh huh, all these years I never knew that until now. Which makes me feel pretty dumb because when I was a kid, I actually tried to chase down a rainbow once but the damn thing kept moving. Trust me people, it might sound crazy, but a pot of gold can do wonders for this economy especially after giving away billions to failed banks. So you see, that’s why we’re still in Afghanistan, and that’s why Obama is going to increase troop levels. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy and almost unbelievable, but hey, our gov’t lied to us before about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Did they not? Of course they did. That said, are you still gonna believe its about terrorism? Hell, for all we know Bin Laden’s real last name is probably O’Reilly.