So What John Mayer’s Penis is Racist! Black Women Won’t Sleep with Him Anyway!!

So I popped on to Twitter this morning only to be greeted by a host of angry black women going in on my man John Mayer. So naturally I’m curious to know why all the rage today, why John Mayer? What, did he call Michelle Obama a bitch or something? What gives? And isn’t he black? So then I found out that the sistahs were pissed off by something he said in an interview for Playboy Magazine.

Now, I’m not one to ever try and shape opinions with my writings on this blog. So I’ll let you check out what he said and leave it up to you to tell me how you interpret it:
PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.OK, so this was just a segment of the full interview; an interview which covers his music, his life, and the trials and tribulations of being a celebrity. But this segment of the interview apparently has angered more than a few black women. So what he said that he doesn’t normally fuck black women and by virtue this makes his penis racist. Yeah, so fuckin’ what! Shit, I’d like to know just how many black women would be willing to give John Mayer some coochie if he wasn’t, well, John Mayer?

I mean c’mon this isn’t exactly some celebrity sex symbol who happens to be white, right? I’m just sayin’; John Mayer from all appearances fits the model of the typical goofy-looking white boy that many black women wouldn’t even give the time of day. And I seriously doubt whether chicks are throwing panties on stage at his concerts. So why be mad because he’s able to be selective of the women he engages with because he has a little money and fame these days. If he said he only prefers fat black chicks I doubt skinny bitches would be mad.

Look, if John Mayer’s penis is racist and it is insulting to you, I think you should kill yourself. Either that or at least reassess your list of priorities. The dude dumped Jennifer Anniston who was married to Brad Pitt. Do you really think your $12.50 per hour, sitting on Twitter all day ass had a chance with John Mayer? And further, I know good and damn well a lot of you reading this like Mayer either refuses to date outside your race, or even have sex with someone outside of your race. Am I the only one seeing this faux rage being fueled by a slight bit of hypocrisy?

I mean some black women often complain about black men who move up the ladder of success only to gravitate towards dating white women exclusively. Well, how can these sistahs levy this complaint about black men and at the same time condemn Mayer for his choice to exclusively date within his race? I mean seriously, what the fuck is up with that?!! Oh well, so much for me not attempting to shape opinions on this blog. Yep, and to the people upset about the “Nigger Pass,” line? Miss me with your bullshit and get back to me when you’re able to understand or comprehend the depth of such a statement coming from an “un-colored” person, because it was indeed profound. In the mean time I’ll be here waiting, waiting on you Negroes to change.