Randumb Holiday Weekend Thoughts: Angry White Folks Flying, Cyber Monday, & Well…

I had a great holiday weekend, folks. Actually, I knew it was gonna be great weekend the day before Thanksgiving when I saw white folks on CNN bitching about getting felt up at airport security checkpoints. One dude was righteously indignant about being anally probed after opting out.

Now I can understand if you didn’t know opting out of walking through a scanner would result in a three finger anal cavity search without Vaseline a pat down much like bouncers do at a night club minus the cover charge. But damn, don’t hit me with the, “Do I look like Osama Bin Laden,” after the fact.

Dude was actually on CNN being interviewed and he said that. Not really surprising especially when it’s coming from a white person who isn’t used to being subjected to such intrusive tactics in the interest of ghetto security. However, it was hilarious hearing white folks declare:

“How dare you ask me to bend over, spread my butt-cheeks, and give you two good coughs! I’m White, Goddammit!! Do I look 3/5ths human, bitch!!!”

Moral of the story: That’s what you white folks get for moving out of the hood. Had you people opted to stay there instead of run to the ‘burbs, you’d be used to this shit like we black folks are.

Yeah, don’t blame this shit on Barack Obama! It’s Michael Chertoff, bitches!!

But anyways, I had a great weekend with family and friends. I also celebrated my wedding anniversary on Saturday and had the opportunity to catch Kevin Hart’s “Laugh At My Pain” tour stop here in Memphis.

Shit was seriously funny, and my wife was in tears the entire time. No seriously, if you get a chance to catch him on tour, please do so. I promise, it’s well worth it, and much better live. And, well, your date might be more willing to have sex with you after the show… yeah, pineapples bitch.

Speaking of marriage and anniversaries… it’s Cyber Monday, y’all! As you know, the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is the jump-off to the Christmas holiday season. And who needs getting trampled outside of stores and America’s modern slave plantation, Wal-Mart, when there’s Cyber Monday! I gotta tell you, nothing sells like convenience in this country and I love it!

Seriously, being at work today getting paid to shop online and take advantage of those huge discounts on internet porn is the shit, son! Cyber Monday has only been around 5yrs, but I’m glad that someone somewhere found it imperative to fully embrace online porn; and, decided to keep the “cyber” in cyber-sex for the promotion of commerce. Hey, gotta keep the “Christ” in Christmas, no?

Lastly, I wanna give a big shout out, and mad props to the good folks over at No Wedding, No Womb. We’ve had our differences in the past, but it’s great to see that my influence has served as a shift in paradigm from the unrealistic idea of no sex (or kids) before marriage. Maybe they caught the latest article in Time Magazine, Who Needs Marriage? A Changing Institution.

It’s really good that these folks have now spurned the idea of shaming black women and single motherhood, to go as far as to create a new theme song for the movement. A song that better carries the “message” that is #NWNW. A song (and message) which will be better embraced by the black community. A song that says a lot more than “get your tubes tied and have all the raw sex you want.”

Checkout their new theme song and video: