I don’t know what it is, or why in American culture we worship the “bad guy”. Everybody, or every Black dude that I know loves Al Pacino’s character “Scarface”. Hell, I’m not gonna lie, I love that nigga too. To me, he’s the ultimate bad guy, and to date, no one has come close to duplicating that character. I promise you, every guy has a copy of “Scarface” on DVD, VHS or probably even BETAMAX to this day. And I’m sure that at least once a year, they take the time to pop it in, watch it with joy, and pretend to be the baddest muthafucka on the planet afterwards. Now that I think of it, all the dudes I’ve seen get knocked out at the club back in the day probably watched “Scarface” before they got all liqored up proceeded to play the resident “get knocked tha fuck out guy” at the local nightclub.

There were a couple people who died while Christmas shopping today. Reports say that two people at a Toys-R-Us in California had a dispute over a toy and shot and killed each other. It almost sounds cinematic when you think of it in a “climatic end of a movie” sorta way. Now, you may chalk it up to the hysteria of “Black Friday” and the fact that people lose their fuckin minds when it comes to getting a discount. Especially for Christmas, because Jesus really loves when you buy people expensive gifts, but more so when you get 20% off. You may also think that especially since a Walmart employee was trampled to death in New York after opening the doors to the store to a crowd of shoppers. So yeah, you might say that the shooting in California is just another example of the hysteria that is American consumerism. But the way I see it, its not. It all boils down to fools trynna prove just how hard and gangsta they are.

For the life of me, I can’t remember going Christmas shopping and having to pack a pistol. I’ve packed a gun in some pretty shady places which is to be expected, but never in a Toys-R-Us. When you think of going toy shopping as an adult, packing a gun is the last thing on your mind. So why did two people pack a gun and both died after pulling the trigger on one another?, What, are they serving alcohol in Toys-R-Us now? A shootout at or outside of a club I understand because there’s usually alcohol, and chicks involved. But at a toy store? This is just another example of a couple people trying to prove just how gangsta they are. Chances are they both watched “Scarface” or “Menace To Society” before deciding to go shopping. They had to. That dude “Tony Montana” will have you coked out thinking you can fight the Taliban. Its the only way you can fathom why two people would pull out guns in a dispute over possibly the last Nintendo Wii.

I laugh at people who try to play that gangsta role in public. You know, the ones who run around talking loud saying shit like, “I ain’t afraid to go to jail.” People like that don’t scare me because I think they’re stupid. Not that one should be afraid to go to jail. Thats not the point. The point is…who the fuck wants to go to jail! Jail ain’t nice. I’ve been there before and I don’t have it listed as one of the places I plan to revisit like Disney World in Orlando. But yet, you have people who run off at the mouth declaring their aversion to the fear of having to drop the soap. And they do this to show just how hard they are. They always run that “I ain’t no punk” bullshit but hell there are alotta dead muthafukas who wasn’t no punk either just like the idiots who shot each other to death while Christmas shopping.

You know what’s gangsta to me? Gangsta to me is taking an oil tanker. Yeah, thats gangsta. Having the balls to get in a pirogue with a few crazy ass friends with guns, play pirate and succeed? To me, thats gangsta. Oh and after taking it, holding for a ransom of $25 million dollars? Yeah, thats gangsta. Its even more gangsta because they’re black, and live in East Africa. I say that because for centuries colonists have taken so much from that continent without ever given any regard to the natives. Well, I’ll take that back…they loved the natives so much, they decided to have a few boats go over there and give them all expense vacation trips to the new world hundreds of years ago. Ok, so what they didn’t exactly have five star accomodations. The point is they paid for it.

So for me, seeing the news about the pirates of Africa gives me joy. For me, in my measure of gangstarism these guys have raised the bar. To date, they have captured at least 15 ships. From here on out all these wanna be thug niggas are punks in my book compared to these guys. Oh you shot two dudes yesterday? So what. You ain’t shit. You been on America’s Most Wanted? Oh word?? Well you still ain’t shit. Matter of fact, even of you shoot me you ain’t shit. Fly a couple planes into skyscrapers? You ain’t shit, the U.S. gov’t already pulled that one off. So what you shot a few niggas and now you’re a rapper…you most definitely ain’t shit. Trust me, you ain’t shit until you hi-jack an oil tanker dawg. Because to me, that’s gangsta. As a matter of fact, I think they should pay the ransom money, get the ship back, and then have the pirates work security for Barack Obama. Nothing against the secret service. But I doubt anybody would wanna fuck with Barack with some of his African brethren doing security work. Yup, especially after they watch the movie “Scarface”.