Is Mario a Midget? When he eats the mushrooms, does he become regular size or turns into a giant? If I were a midget, should I be offended by the Mario concept? Do these folks at Nintendo think that my “little people” problem, that I was most probably born with, is something that can be joked about? I mean how many mushrooms do they expect us midgets to eat before we grow to a regular size? And what the heck is regular size? I’m guessing its average… are midget people taken into account when making this global average? And most importantly, who the hell is sitting somewhere measuring people to make this average?
I think our doctors are leaking information from our files to make a little extra money on the side. That would explain the luxury cars and cottages. What will they leak out next? I don’t know why or how but I’ve had this “midget curiosity disorder” for quite some time. Some people think its politically incorrect to refer to them as midgets. But I believe in calling them as I see them. I mean hell I don’t get offended when people who don’t know me refer to me as “Big Daddy”. I mean hey I am a big dude!! Maybe I’m wrong? Oh well.Just for the record, just in case you were wondering, I have a small penis. Yup I sure do! See my whole adult life I’ve had a complex about my penis size. Was it women, or maybe it was society? Either way, us men walk around everyday wondering if we’re adequately equipped. Other than the dudes we’ve seen in porn, we really have no one else to compare ourselves to. I mean we can’t trust you chicks to tell us the truth. I mean no woman will ever say that you have a little dick to your face. Nope, no lady will ever do that! I mean no grown woman will ruin the mood when she sees a guys dick for the first time and say, “damn dude, my last boyfriend was bigger than you!” I mean why would she, she’s just as horny as you are. So you see, we never have somebody or some size to compare ourselves with. And that’s why I always fuck in the dark for the first few times.Think about it, why do you think the full size SUV (think Escalade) became popular? Where do you think the whole machismo thing comes from? It’s just a front! The macho dude is actually communicating his inner penile insecurities. I mean, he’s not ever gonna call his homeboy and ask him to come over so they can compare dick sizes. Instead, he has this macho thing going. Its his way of sending the signal to chicks (and secretly his homeboys) that he has a big dick. Now, he might actually have a big dick, but like I said, he has nothing to compare it to. I think the last grown man dick I ever saw was my dad’s when I was a kid, and that really fucked me up! Could you imagine a 6yr old penis compared to a grown man’s penis? It left me feeling like “damn my shit is small!” And still to this day, I think my dick is the same size. From reading magazines I have an idea as to what average is. But who really knows? They never had every grown man line up and take measurements. Come to think about it, that’s probably what they need to do. Maybe that would put an end to all this macho shit. This way we’d all know how we REALLY measure up. I wonder if females walk around wondering about the size of the next chicks vagina?

I know us men do.