What have you done to change the world today? What have you done today to make this world a better place? If you have to pause before you answer that question then chances are you haven’t done a damn thing. I don’t do good things everyday. My streaks of charity usually come in spurts. Sometimes if I do enough good things, then I might skip church on the count of knowing that I had a good week of helping others. The last few weeks have been good.
Anyways I’ve made a short list of people that I think this world could do without.
Feel free to add to this list as you see fit.
1) HIP WHITE KIDS WHO BUMP HORRIBLE RAP MUSIC
Sometimes when a white guy is “acting black” he looks to black people for social approval. A simple nod from a black guy on the street lets the hip white kid know that he’s doing a good job of representing the hip hop culture. I made the mistake once of making eye contact with the passenger of a car next to me and instantly the staring contest was on. I wanted to give him the nod. I have no problem giving the nod but these two idiots were bumping “THUGGISH RUGGISH BONE” by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. I have nothing against someone enjoying rap classics, but not in the middle of traffic with your radio turned all the way up. I simply looked at the dude and said, “That song is old”. He couldn’t hear me so he cut down the music. He asked me to repeat myself. I simply said “Thank You” and drove off. Getting two white kids to cut off lame rap music from the 90’s makes this world a better place.
2) MEN WHO DRINK SMIRNOFF ICE TO GET DRUNK
Smirnoff Ice. I’ve had a few in my life. Smirnoff is the type of drink that some idiotic high school kid drinks before baseball practice. I’m 38 Now. I’ve graduated to Crown Royal and other random liquors. So I’m chillin at the club by myself. I’m at the bar waiting to get served. Mr Random White Dude is at the bar next to me and then out of now here he says…. “Man I’ve gotta go get me another drink I’m FUCKED UP.” “Really? What you drinkin on?” I asked. He screams out, “Smirnoff Ice! You Want one?” To which I replied. “Nah, I don’t want one, I’m not gay.” He looked at me kind of weird when I said this. Not sure if he was offended or not but he walked off.
I have nothing against anyone who goes to a house party and throws back a Smirnoff Ice or one of those flavored Jack Daniels drinks. But when it gets to a point that you’re DRUNK off of them, you’re a coward. You’re a coward who’d rather drink 14 Smirnoff Ices instead of doing 3 shots of tequilla and drinking a double crown and coke. As far as I’m concerned you may as well be drinking a mudslide or a daquiri or some other fruity alcoholic slushie. Secondly… if you ARE going to drink something like this, accept the fact that you’re a coward. Don’t go around the bar offering this drink to other men. The correct thing to say is…. “Hey my man what you drinking on I’ll get ya beer or something buddy.” But when you specifically suggest a Smirnoff Ice something goes off in the brain of a straight man. You may have said…. “I’m drinking Smirnoff Ice, do you want one?” but what we hear is…”I’m drinking Smirnoff Ice. I sure hope you want one too. Man I really want a daquri, that way I can pour it all over my body and hopefully some strong man will come and lick it off of my body while I lay naked on the bar” I guess what I said to the guy worked. I saw him later that night, he was drinking a Budweiser. I made the world a better place.