Ladies First Guest Blogger Week – Excuse Me Miss, Can I Kick It? by Silkee

[Editor’s Note: This post comes rom one of the most outspoken women I’ve ever met online. The last time she was featured on this blog she ripped it! I’m trying to convince her to be a regular contributor to my blog. Hopefully with your support she’ll do just that. Until then you can reach her, and follow her on Twitter (@AlwaysSilky). I hope you enjoy this one, and look for her in the near future]

The hip-hop head in me was bouncing all over the map the other day. I was tooling all over Baltimore, getting my vacation off to a stellar start when I heard the song “I Got a Man” by Positive K. For those who may not remember or may not be familiar, the entire premise is that a young man is trying to gain a particular female’s attention – she’s clearly not having it because, after all, as the title states, she’s GOT a man. But of course, he’s got 50-11 reasons why she should disregard that man in favor of the new suitor, and therefore disrespect herself completely– not to mention that the minute the young lady in question mentioned that her man was the type to gift her with all manner of material possessions, he became immediately disinterested because “[he doesn’t] go that route.” This really got me to thinking about male behavior – primarily because I’ve been on the receiving end of this kind of foolishness more times than I care to remember.

Let’s examine.

It bears stating that the men who would engage in this kind of behavior are not exactly looking for wife material. Even if they were, it would stand to reason that they definitely are NOT husband material. What I find completely hilarious is that they tend to display more than their share of indignation when the object of their affection is completely nonplussed by their invitations to dinner and a movie (do I look like I’ve missed a meal, or that I’m not pop-culturally aware?). Pffft… unoriginal drivel – but of course, a man who would steal another man’s crown jewel only to use her like toilet paper generally isn’t capable of the kind of original thought that could gain him his own Hope Diamond. Sadly, I’m aware that another reason these fools go about their business the way they do is that even if they approach 100 attached women (and trust, they approach as many as they possibly can without getting maced or tazed), they’re likely to get a bite from at least one. In their tiny minds, they are still a success; they’ve got game.

An uninterested lady might stop one of these troglodytes in his path by asking them whether or not it would be acceptable for the woman they thought of as “theirs” to be roaming the Earth collecting random male friends of which he was unaware. Admittedly, most of them aren’t even thinking that far ahead. I take it as a personal affront that so many cats step out on the false pretense of friendship, when the pink elephant in the living room is only that this dude is biding his time until your man does something to set you off, so he can be that “break glass in case of emergency” dick. Frankly, I will say for the record that I don’t even believe in the phenomenon of platonic friendship between members of the opposite sex, unless one of the parties is homosexual. Say what you want, but I’ve seen it happen too many times. Somebody catches feelings, or decides to wait around for the other person to drop the soap – and it’s NEVER a good look. It also makes me wonder whether or not the phenomenon of stuck-up, rude women that so many men describe is rooted in this behavior. Maybe if more males acted like gentlemen, instead of horny, desperate curb-dwellers or pushy salesmen, they’d get more of out a woman to whom they showed some interest than a disgusted sidelong glance, a dismissive snicker, and the PALM!

And I know, I started out with Positive K… but the tone of the blog was more suited to Tribe Called Quest. Sue me.

xox… Happy hunting, lame asses of the world.