Just like Michael Jackson I hate being Black; I will now transform and become an Albino. Yeah and I’m gonna inject my lips with Collagen too.

That’s right; I’m done with you Black people. No longer will I consider myself a Negro, a Black man, African American or whatever other forms of description which implies my ethnic makeup. Damn right, from here on out I wanna be an Albino. Yup, the death of Michael Jackson was all it took for me to see the light.

I mean obviously I’m not Black enough like the Black people who are quick to say that MJ turned his back on the Black community. Or, he had an identity crisis and wanted to be White. Or, that he wanted to be White so bad that he went as far as to buy the sperm out of a White man’s balls and have them planted inside a White woman to produce his offspring like Debbie Roe did.

SIDENOTE: Show me a Black woman who would have been comfortable with the arrangement to carry Mike’s kids and take the money in exchange for the potential future custody of said kids.

Yeah, this man has been dead exactly one week and now that the initial shock has worn off you Negroes are coming out of the woodwork with this type of talk. Yeah, Michael Jackson hated himself and he wasn’t Black enough for you, right? Silly Negroes, how come you never apply the same logic to White folks when they tan themselves to death?

Lemme guess, Mr. Drummond hated himself as well; enough so to go out and adopt “Willis” & “Arnold” who’s last name just so happened to be Jackson as well? The thing is, this game has been run so much on us by non-minorities that they’ve gotten into our heads like my man Macon D over at Stuff White People Do asserted recently.

Do you hear White folks talking this mess in the wake of MJ’s death? No you don’t. You never hear it said in the media that Michael Jackson hated his Blackness so he lied about Vitilago and then proceeded to bleach his entire body including his penis. No, you never hear that, but yet you hear it from Negroes all damn day long; Negroes who have become experts of the very hate that the hater made themselves.

The funny thing about all this bullshit talk is that I’m willing to bet that all these “I’m Blacker than midnight” folks, perm their hair, wore a Jheri Curl at one point or still do, wash their hair with Garnier Fructise, buy $6 lattes, ate off food stamps, wear expensive weaves made of Asian hair, or never donate to the United Negro College Fund. That’s the funny part about all this in my opinion.

They always question the Blackness of famous people of color and use Blackness as a measure of loyalty. I could understand that to an extent, but when you measure MJ’s Blackness or loyalty to the Negro collective based on the metamorphosis of his skin color and not his body of work, I find that disingenuous. Save that type of talk for someone who’s on the Supreme Court who if he had it his way he’d remove Affirmative Action, the Voting Rights Act, and bring back slavery.

But hey, what do I know. I probably don’t agree with these assertions because I too hate myself. Oh well, I’ll just have to run out to the store and pick up some of that industrial strength “Hey I Wanna Be White” skin cream. I’ll be sure it has enough Hydroquinone to burn my penis off because I’m obviously not Black enough to understand where some folks are coming from.

Let them tell it, James Brown hated himself for wearing a perm as were all the Negro performers who didn’t wear an Afro and a Dashiki back in the day. Yup, self hate produced “Say it Loud (Black & Proud)” and that’s why James went back to the perm instead of sporting the Afro until he died. Was James Brown not Black enough or hated himself and that’s why he wore a perm? Is Al Sharpton’s perm a symbol of self hate?

Yes, Michael Jackson hated himself just as Cher – who has had maybe 15 million ribs removed – or any other entertainer Black or White who has had plastic surgery or wears padded underwear like Beyonce to fool people into thinking she has a fat ass. Ah yes, that hate thing sure is beautiful isn’t it? Hell I hate being Black so much I might just go shrink my penis.

The messed up part of all of this is that everybody is now an expert clinical psychologist on Negro behavior but yet they can’t fix their own pathologies. Life would be great if we were all Albinos I suppose. But then again, they’re subjected to much hate so they too possibly hate themselves as well. Sometimes my own people piss me off not because of the things they say. But because they fail to see their own internalized oppression and how they express it.

There are people on the continent of Africa who bleach their faces…

I wonder if they hate themselves as well?