It’s Easy to Pull a Breezy, Smoke Trees, and Stay Drunk

If I knew that shit would be as f*cked up in the new millennium as it is, I would have partied harder in 1999 – damn you Prince. Let’s see, Bush gets elected, and then a few months after his inauguration I lost my job due to corporate downsizing – hell, the towers hadn’t even fallen yet. And here we are almost 10yrs later and pretty much everybody is up shit’s creek without a paddle or a friggin life jacket. Damn I miss the 90s, with Puff Daddy and the shiny suits.

So the other day I’m whippin’ the ride around the city, and I turn to one of the two local stations for Hip Hop. Of course I rarely listen to these stations but this day in particular I had an itch. After maybe ten or fifteen minutes of listening I was infuriated. No, I wasn’t mad at myself for being a glutton for punishment by listening for what today passes as Hip Hop music. Instead, I was mad because it seemed as if all these assholes with songs on the air were clueless to the fact that we’re in a deep recession.

When the unemployment rate is at a 26yr high nationally and the rate of employment for Blacks and other minorities are as staggering as they are. The last thing I wanna hear is some fool on my radio talking about how much money he has and how much of it he throws away or wipes his ass with. When there’s a home foreclosure every 13 seconds in this country I seriously don’t think I wanna hear about how you make it rain on hoes or your 75 inch rims on your 1976 Chevy Nova, or how your pitbull drinks Cristal. I mean, that’s unless rappers are the only employed Black people right now, that is; then and only then is that type of talk positive, uplifting and motivational.

Yep, why finish high school when you can be a rapper, right?

No seriously, I know rappers are not the only people currently with money in this country. And the fact that they are insulting my intelligence in ways that a big booty stripper could get away with back in the day pisses me off. I mean obviously these chowder-heads aren’t aware of the state of the economy. Shit man, not trying to be the disgruntled old school Hip Hop fan, but whatever happened to music that related to everyday people, or the realities of the everyday struggle? You know, that whole “Don’t, push, me, cuz’, I’m, close, to, the, edge,” thing? What, did they hand out reparation checks and forgot to let a brother know?

In the ever popular “keepin’ it real” landscape that is Hip Hop, is this truly what is really happening? I’m 39yrs old and if this is indeed the way rappers are living someone needs to let me know quickly. Yes, because that would mean that at my age it’s not too late to pursue a onetime childhood dream of being a dope MC, meeting Kim Fields and getting married.

Damn straight!

While the rest of you losers are out here complaining about the state of the economy, and the price of milk while waiting on unemployment checks. I’ll be spending my ringtone money and eating food off of the platinum plaques on my wall as I watch the movie Scarface for the 5,500th time; why should Lil’ Boosie and company have all the fun gettin’ wiped down. Somebody get me Mr. Rourke’s phone number so him and the midget Tattoo can make it happen.

Who said dreams never come true, right?

Oh well, don’t tell that the guy who wrote this song…

His name is K’naan, he was born in Somalia and is currently a rapper…

You won’t hear this on the radio…