How Do You Know When You’re Dating Someone Crazy Enough to Kill You?

So, a lady who works at my wife’s office was killed by her boyfriend, and then later killed himself at the scene because she broke up with him. This is the second or maybe third murder-suicide incident here in Memphis in recent weeks. There was another case a few weeks ago where a woman broke up with a guy only to have him hold her and her roommates hostage in her apartment. Only to shoot and kill her and her father who showed up to mediate before turning the gun on himself. And then there’s this other guy who “allegedly” killed his ex-girlfriend and stuffed her in a car trunk the other week. I guess he didn’t like the idea of her putting a restraining order on him so he did** what he did.

In the case of my wife’s co-worker, it was revealed that the ex-boyfriend didn’t take the break up well, and was even hospitalized on a psych ward. Only to be released by whom we don’t know, to commit yet another senseless act in the name of love and heartbreak. I’ve had some pretty shitty breakups, and yes, I’ve even had my heart broken and trampled on a time or two. And yeah I’ve been an emotional wreck after a breakup before – thank God for Mary J. Blige’s “What The 411” album. But never in my life have I ever imagined or even envisioned causing harm to the women who in my opinion did me wrong. I may have wanted to shake the shit out of ’em, but never kill them.

My very good friend and “sistah”, Livication, who has dedicated her life and is currently employed as a victims advocate within the court system. In discussing murder-suicides by jilted and emotionally  unstable ex-lovers centered on those recent stories this morning, she told me that things like this are more common than we’d like to believe. Her being on the frontlines, I believe her. And then I thought about the women I’ve dated, and tried to figure out just which of them had potential to be emotionally unstable, and thus may have wanted to cause me bodily harm. I only came up with one: my ex-wife.

Of course there was this one chick who creeped me out when I woke up in the middle of the night to find her standing over me in bed staring. Which I took as a sign that a brotha had to bounce quick fast in a hurry and get away from her bedroom. No seriously, I knew my sex game was good, but not that good dammit. So tell me folks: how exactly do you screen a would be potentially emotionally unstable lover before deciding to get with them sexually or otherwise? Are there any clues, signs or dead giveaway? Of course being married I don’t have to worry about that… but then again.

**The guy who “allegedly” killed and stuffed his ex-girlfriend in her car trunk also got into an altercation while sitting in jail and “allegedly” killed another inmate in the confrontation.