Hey Mr. Police Officer sir, why did you put your penis in the mouth of that cow?

Ok look, I just, I, I, I just, I just don’t even know what to say about this one; n-n-n-no seriously, I don’t…I just read this article, and I just, well…I just don’t know:

If animals could talk, a few cows in Burlington County might ask state legislators to hurry up and outlaw bestiality.

During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn’t infer whether the cows had been “tormented” or “puzzled” by the situation or even irritated that they’d been duped out of a meal.

Morley said it was questionable whether Melia’s alleged crimes against cows, although “disgusting,” fit the definitions in the animal-cruelty statute.

“I’m not saying it’s OK,” [Judge James J.] Morley said. “This is a legal question for me. It’s not a question of morals. It’s not a question of hygiene. It’s not a question of how people should conduct themselves.”Did you catch the part that this guy is a police officer? Ok good. Did you also catch the part where it said that what he did was not a question of morals? Sure it’s disgusting, but they can’t really say whether the cows were tormented so the charges are dropped? Hello!! Judge!! You’re supposed to be the one person able to determine or be a judge of moral character if nobody else is. What gives? I mean, should there even be a friggin debate about what he did?

Um, normal people don’t go around sticking their penis’ in the mouths of cows.

Now remember that this guy is a police officer, and supposedly unlike that mentally disturbed brother we discussed not too long ago who has a thing for this certain horse, right? Remember that brother? Yeah, he was kinda not right in the head. But this guy was entrusted to uphold the law while he served and protected the fellow citizens in his jurisdiction, right? Well, if you think what he did to the cows was bad, check this out:

Sex with cows is the least of Melia’s problems, though.

He and former girlfriend, Heather Lewis, of Pemberton Township, are also accused of sexually assaulting three young girls over a five-year period, sometimes in Melia’s Cottage Avenue home in Moorestown, where he was a patrolman, authorities said.

Melia has been suspended from the force, said a spokesman with the Prosecutor’s Office.

Melia and Lewis were both arrested in April 2008, shortly after one of the girls told her stepfather of the alleged abuse.

During the course of the investigation, authorities also discovered child pornography on Melia’s home computer as well as videos of him with the cows.Like I told y’all, I’m too through with this one. Um, why does this fool still have a job? Hopefully the judge even with all that evidence would be able to determine whether what him and his then girlfriend did was a question of morality; or maybe a question of how people should conduct themselves. I hope those cows didn’t know how to give head (like some women) and teethed the shit out of his lil’ ass dick. Yep, and I hope he goes to prison as should all child molesters; and get anally raped at least three times a week or get his ass kicked.