I’m beginning to think that Iraq is like some good pussy: easy to run up in without protection, but hard as hell to pull out. And the thing that’s been getting on my nerves is all the talk of THE SURGE, and how it worked. I swear, I hear so much about the surge that I now think its some big bad character on WWE Raw. You know, kinda like the new Mr. Badass on your cable network wrestling show on a Monday night? Think Booker T. Yeah, thats the surge, cuz he sure has been getting a push. I wish they would just stop it with all that talk about it, because at the end of the day, soldiers and innocent civillians are getting killed everyday. Hell, if they did it right after deciding to invade the place there would be no need for the surge. But don’t tell that to the war mongering presidential candidate who I shall remain nameless.
But here in America, we have this false sense of competence when it comes to the military. We all have the confidence that the U.S. military can go anywhere in the world and kick ass. I mean who could really kick our asses right? We’ve been kickin asses and taking names for years right? Well, if you’re a John Wayne/Audie Murphy fan you just might feel that way and I would understand why you’d feel that way. I mean after all, those films were based on some old Korean war pre-Vietnam bullshit. But I’m a kid who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s so I look at the shit differently.
Remember this dude…
Yeah thats Mr. T. He was a member of The A-Team. If you remember that show from the early 80’s, they were a bunch of dudes who were fugitives from military justice. They basically were framed (or so they say) for some bullshit in Vietnam, and they escaped the military stockade and were living in Los Angeles. I used to love that show and I watched it every week when I was growing up. But now that I’m grown I could look back and say that the military was really wack. They couldn’t even catch the fuckin A-Team! Four fuckin dudes riding around in a Black van in L.A. should not have been hard to catch. I mean this is L.A., even “Kane” got shot and killed in “Menace To Society”! But the military could never catch The A-Team or even fataly shoot one of those guys. I mean c’mon the cops caught Rodney King who was driving a Hyundai and beat his ass, but the military couldn’t catch B.A. Barrackus? Whats the odds of putting Bin Laden in handcuffs? Are you with me so far? Oh ok, so you think I’m trippin huh?
Ok, here’s another reason, remember this guy…
Yeah thats John Rambo. He too was a Vietnam vet. He was homeless or crazy pretty much like most of those dudes who came back from Vietnam. I don’t know exactly where the fuck he was when this shit went down but all I know is he flipped out on some fat sheriff and went into the woods to hide. Well since the cops couldn’t get him the military got involved. The military were the only ones who could understand him and calm him down. Sure they could, but they couldn’t catch The A-Team. They eventually was able to convince him to go on covert missions and wreck shop in a couple of different conflicts overseas. And guess what? They brought him back again! Yeah Rambo came back last year. See, the military aint shit because they use people. I don’t know if they ever thought of sending him to Iraq this time, but I think they should. He kicked ass here in America with 1 knife so I think he qualifies for Iraq. But since he’s old, he can’t do it by himself. Trust me when I say he’ll need help.
I think between him, The A-Team, and this guy….
They’ll be able to get it done. Now you’re wondering…The Fresh Prince Of Bel Aire? No not that slacker. I’m talking about the dude who beat the Aliens in “Independence Day”. I don’t know what his name was, but I know he was black and he looked alot like Will Smith. You can’t leave that guy out of this conflict. I mean he killed aliens and saved the world for crying out loud! Tom Cruise ran from the aliens like a bitch, and he’s into scientology. Did Will Smith run? Hell no he didn’t! Like many black men before him he did what he had to do in the face of grave danger and he saved the world. He fuckin won! Not the military…Will Smith! He single handedly saved the world! The U.S. Marines have a slogan, “We’re looking for a few good men”, well by George I think I found them. If we put together these dudes there’ll be less spending and casualties in the war in Iraq. And we’d be talking less about the damn surge. And once again, this is why I say the military aint shit! History has shown it but you people just weren’t paying attention. Do you people realize how much money would have been saved? The gov’t has spent over $600 billion dollars on the war effort to date. That money spent could have done so much more here in the country, but instead we depend on our military leaders to get it done in Iraq.