Easter, Family Portraits & Cowboy Pimps

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and go hunt for colored eggs! Yup, it’s definitely Easter folks. Oh, in case you didn’t know, or are probably Muslim, into Scientology, or a republican…Easter is a Christian ‘holiday’ that celebrates the day that Jesus rose from the grave.

After which, he bought a new suit and decided to play with rabbits, and hide colorful eggs before going up to heaven. Since Jesus is the focus of Christianity, people all over the world continue the practice. Well, I dunno about around the world, however, I do know about some of the people I saw in the mall yesterday. Hell, I even saw a woman who I knew she had to be a stripper on her way to work being that she was barely clothed running around buying a dress for Easter Sunday. I guess it just goes to show that we’re in a recession when strippers get saved.

I saw so many people shopping and buying “dress clothes”, I started to question if Barack Obama sent them extra tax refunds, or a damn stimulus check. Maybe it’s because I now live in the bible belt. Yeah, maybe that’s what it is. I swear, I’ve never seen so many people lose their minds as I’ve seen this weekend outside of Christmas shopping. All over the place there were people buying church clothes. It made me wonder if these people were true Christians or the fake Christians who only show up for communion once a year. Hell I even saw a whole family decked out in their Sunday’s best lined up waiting to take pictures at Sears. I couldn’t help it, but I thought to myself, “I know these people ARE NOT gonna wear the same thing tomorrow at church, and I hope not”

We even went out to dinner and there were a lot of people in their church clothes lined up waiting to eat. I thought it was odd since this was Saturday night and not Easter Sunday. But my wife informed me that they were probably some Seventh Day Adventist members. It’s a damn shame that Christians can’t even agree on when the Sabbath should be observed. Oh well, there are many contradictions in Christianity, so no biggie.

My wife’s grand-parents, and her father are in town from Detroit, for the weekend, and It’s been cool so far. Just seeing her grand-parents enjoying life together at an old age is a beautiful thing. I could only hope to live as long in love and in the company of the most beautiful woman in the world in my life. Yesterday, with them being here, we decided to go get some portraits done at Sears. It was then that I saw the madness as it relates to Easter shopping and such. But like I said before, maybe its because I live in the bible belt that I’m privileged to see such behavior.

There was one family ahead of us waiting at Sears to get pics that cracked me up. They had to be at least 15-20 deep. Oh and yes they were Black. The funny thing about seeing them was seeing the grand-parents; who oddly enough, seemed to be the only actual adults in the group. They were dressed to kill….literally! You know how old dudes have this saying to describe how “fly” they looked dressed up, called being “casket sharp”? Well, the way they were dressed, you would have died from the uncontrollable laughter.

The old dude wore a gold suit; something sorta like a pimp would wear. I like seeing old dudes dressed sharp in suits, but this guy?? He looked tacky as hell! He looked like a pimp reject, which is worse than an assistant pimp. I promise you, dude looked like Snoop Dogg’s uncle Junebug. What was worse and took the cake, was that he also wore a cowboy hat. I swear, I’m not making this up. Dude was like a hybrid Negro. He was part pimp, part cowboy, and his suit looked like a cheap shower curtain from the Dollar Store. I’m sorry, but the cowboy pimp thing was a big mistake.

His wife wore all pink and didn’t look too bad in my opinion, but my wife thought she was a hot mess; I guess being a guy I tend to be harder on the fellas. The rest of the family (mostly kids) were kinda fucked up looking the way they were dressed as well. But when your grandfather is a cowboy-pimp you can pretty much look however you please. I mean, grandma, and grandpa were dressed to the hilt, but the rest of them looked like they were straight off the playground sporting garanimals from the 80’s. For the purpose of this blog I wanted to take pics of them with my camera phone, but I didn’t wanna look like a Japanese tourist in Hollywood. Besides, that dude would have probably called his cowboy-pimp buddies to put a hit out on me once word got back that he was featured on the internet.

Getting family pics is a pretty cool thing. Most families, even as screwed up as they are, just coming together and taking pictures is a good thing. It’s the one moment in time that captures togetherness despite any dysfunction. The family that was ahead of us did play and act the part of dysfunction even in waiting for their pictures to be taken. But I’m sure that with the click and flash of the camera that love was there. That’s why I like looking at family photos. When I see them, I see the love, and really that’s what it’s all about. Maybe if more families got together and took pictures, we’d have more families staying together, or at least pretending to like one another?

I dunno, but that’s what I think. Hell, even Jesus took a family picture eating dinner with his homies before he got gaffled by the Feds. And I’m sure though he predicted his demise, dudes probably thought he had too much to drink, and was talking out of the side of his neck. Which is kinda messed up because I know after he was killed, those same dudes probably wished they had wallet sized pictures of themselves all together. After all, you never know when it could be the last time that you’re all together.