So, not only is Memphis Tn. the most obese city in the country. It is now (according to the FBI) number one in the nation when it comes to violent crime. Yup, Memphis Tn. has moved up a few notches from last year. If I’m not mistaken it was ranked number four last year or sumthin like that. Cool huh? I live in a city with Fat gangbangers. Yes sir I sure do.

Forget Graceland and Elvis. Come to Memphis Tn. where you could get shot at a buffet by a fat greedy gansgta who’s mad because you ate the last bar-b-cue rib. The way I see it, I live in the right place. Here I am, I’m 37yrs old and I’ve never been in a gang. Now that my city is ranked number one as far as violent crime, there’s no better time than the present for me to become a gangbanger. And why would I wanna do that? Well, the economy is bad, and money is short. Perfect conditions for a crime spree don’t ya think? Maybe I could get a recuring role on “The First 48” on A&E or sumthin.
On the news there was a story about police forces around the country having to cut back on patrols because of high gas prices. In some cities, they’re making cops ride bikes and skateboards. Ok, so the skateboard thing is a lie but the bike thing is true. Either way, the police cant afford to do much by the way of protecting white people and serving ass whoopins to black people these days because its expensive. That increases the odds of me being sucessful in my criminal exploits, and it would probably give me some great blog material to share. To be honest, at my age, most of the younger kids would consider me an O.G. so quite naturally, I’ll be like a leader. All I need to know now is what colors I wanna represent. Is it still cool to wear pink? That red and blue crap is kinda old. I’ll probably go with prison orange. Fuck it, me and my gang will wear nuthin but prison jumpsuits in the streets. That would be cool. It’ll be like a slap in the face of the cops. Oh well, wish me luck.