Black Women Are Not Supposed To Be Affectionate

When the pendulum swings one way, the laws of physics says that it will always equally swing in an opposite direction. Unfortunately, this week, this was not true for Michelle Obama. I’m sure this phenomenon of life and science has been seen the world over this week as it always has. However, for the First Lady of The United States of America, even the media science is bigoted.

Ok, so what you talking about RiPPa?

Well, first off, Michelle Obama touched the Queen of England, and the whole world is going to come to an end. I mean it has to be coming to an end the way the media covered this story of the faux pas of Mrs. Obama. I mean you’d swear that the sister felt up the Queen or something. Which might not be a bad idea because I doubt that old White woman is seeing any action at all over there, but I digress.

So like, what’s the big deal? Oh I forgot, the Queen of England doesn’t touch anybody. Matter of fact, I don’t even think she wipes her own ass! Wow, how’s that for a recession proof job. But yeah, the Queen touches no one which is good to know next time I take a trip across the pond.

Personally, in my infinite paranoia about racism and shit, I can’t help but to think that Michelle Obama’s color did play a hand in the negative backlash. I mean hell, everybody knows Black woman carry the cooties, right? Yeah, Michelle should have known better than to touch the Queen.

Gimme a damn break White media.

The funny thing about all of this is that the pendulum swung in a totally opposite direction one day later. Uh huh, but yet there was very little coverage of her positive message she sent to the students at the all girls school where she spoke. Nope, nothing was said much at all about her positive gesture giving hugs to all of those girls.

Check it out:

However, what did we learn? If you touch the Queen you get bad press, but when you give hugs to a group of now inspired girls, nobody cares. Well, that’s only true if you’re not a woman of color. I mean you just can’t go around being affectionate to old White ladies like that Michelle, damn.

Hell, Black women from America are not supposed to inspire anyone. They’re supposed to be angry, and filled with hate for their country with an occasional terrorist fist bump thrown in every now and then. Now that I think of it that was the problem. Michelle Obama should have given the Queen some “dap” as us folks of color call it. Yeah, giving her some “dap” would have been more true to form. Yup, all Black women are from the hood and work their way through college stripping, doing hair, and digging gold from Kanye West, and Michelle Obama is no exception.

She’s trash, remember?
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