BET Awards 2016: All Black Everything

BET tried to get its life together with this year’s BET Awards. And for that I am proud. Even with the missteps, I can’t say I hate what they tried to do. I will actually commend them for what it is worth. Might as well go through the highlights of it all.

And no, this was not written in real time. I let everyone on social media crack their jokes first. I’m gracious like that.

BET Awards 2016 Hosts: Anthony Anderson & Traci Ellis-Ross
BET Awards 2016 Hosts: Anthony Anderson & Traci Ellis-Ross

Now, onto the review of the BET Awards 2016:

1.)    Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar were in formation with their intro performance. You already know she had to make it happen with all the water and stuff. Sometimes, you have to wade in the water. Glad no one was electrocuted. In all, they did what they always do: electrify. All puns intended.

2.)    I’m sorry, but Tracey Ellis Ross and Anthony Anderson was funny as all get out. Hits remade in the Hamilton cadence? Yes. This worked.
3.)    Cookie did her intro on how to behave at Beyonce concerts. It was cool. Took up some time. Her outfit was flier than her routine, though.

4.)    Best Group: Drake and Future. I didn’t know that Drake was actually in a group with Future. In fact, most of the nominees weren’t groups outside of The Internet and Rae Sremmurd. Interesting enough.

5.)    Bibi Bourelly: she sounds good. I hope she drops some dope music to last the test of time. She kinda looks like Marsha Ambrosius. Just a little bit.

6.)    Terrance J said vote and stay woke!

7.)    Best Male R&B artist: Bryson Tiller. I’m not shocked. People will clown me for this, but his album is pretty damn good. He goes hard when you actually listen to his music. Not sure it was better than Tyrese or The Weeknd. Still, his album stays on repeat for me.

8.)    Desiigner performs Panda and gets people hyped. I’m not sure Fabolous wanted Desiigner close to him like that. Fab had on a Givenchy shirt. So, that ain’t happening. Also, rule of thumb: stop performing to songs. Always have an instrumental.

9.)    Deon Cole is cool. Karreuche was killing that outfit. The end.

10.)    Best Actor: Michael B. Jordan. How can anyone hate that? Creed went hard. He is on the come up. I’m proud of the young man.

11.)    Dave Chappelle looks extremely swole. Is he on that Bill Romanowski diet? Besides that, he didn’t disappoint with his introduction. So, that’s love.

12.)    The Roots + Erykah Badu + Bilal doing the Prince dedication to start off all of the dedications. Erykah kept it dope and smooth. But that damn Bilal? Went in. You know: like Bilal always goes in. And every single female in the audience was paying attention. Then again, many people didn’t know who he was. And that’s the sad part.

13.)    That New Edition movie/mini series? Oh, yes. I’m there for it. America’s first “boy band” that set the standard for all those others that came after. Don’t believe me? Do your research.

14.)    It makes me feel good to see Fat Joe still performing. This is the same cat that came with Flow Joe back in the early 90’s. DITC member. Meanwhile, French North Dakota is lazy as hell and Remy Ma looking like all her starches when to her woman parts. She looking good for Papoose!

15.)    Best Actress: Taraji P. Henson. Why? Because. She Cookie with the good Nookie. You already know.
16.)    Alicia Keys? She did okay. That’s all. It was better at the end.

17.)    Best New Artist: Bryson Tiller. Again, I am not that surprise. Now, if they would have picked Audra Day then it would have been quite interesting.

18.)    Tori Kelly and Stevie Wonder performing a Prince song? Interesting enough. I wish Stevie knew the words a little bit more.

19.)    Jennifer Hudson did alright with her Prince dedication. Kinda churchy. But hey, she sung the hell out of her part. I just wish she would have passed around the collection plate. I’m just saying. The offering would have been stupid swole.

20.)    #realdatesmatter

21.)    Video of the Year: Beyonce for Formation. Is there a surprise? Nope. Not for that visual sensory overload of a video. Not at all.

22.)    Cloe and Hallie? Parkwood Entertainment. They reminded me of a non Yoruban version of Ibeyi. I can dig this. I can dig this for real.

23.)    Anthony Anderson with the Kyrie Irving yacht party shade? You must love it! That’s what happen when they hear you only deal with white chicks. And I’m not even sure it is true. And I don’t care. I just find it funny for the moment.

24.)    This Bryson Tiller performance didn’t do anything for me. I wanted this cat to actually get into the song and sing it. He did slightly better when he dropped “Don’t”. But whatever. He should have went in harder.

25.)    Best Male Hip Hop Artist: Drake. Blah. Blah. Blah. I think it should have been Kendrick or Cole. It wasn’t Kanye West, so we all won with that one.

26.)    Peace to Muhammad Ali and everyone else that passed on into somewhere away from people that really didn’t love him like they thought they did.

27.)    Maxwell gets on stage. With an umbrella. Letting the water pour down. Is the water symbolic to purple rain or the collective moisture of all the females in the audience once we started performing? I’m asking for a friend. A nosey friend.

28.)    Beyonce bath water = Lemonade. The sugary kind your grandma used to make. The grandma that was a diabetic. She had that sugar. That diabeetus. Yeah.

29.)    Jesse Williams is a man that used his platform for the right reasons. But hey: people love him so much because so many of his ilk DON’T do what he does. Jesse Williams is risking his career to make this world a better place. He will see if others follow or just watch when they could be doing the same/more. 2016 Humanitarian indeed.

30.)    Oh, and he killed it with his speech. The end.

31.)    Future is performing like he just won custody of his son with Ciara. Wait: he DID win custody. Good for him. I guess we can say that was wicked indeed.

32.)    Anderson .Paak is killing it right now. He has quite a few albums out. That Malibu album is jamming. He is a part of the XXL Freshman List of 2016 (even though he is an R&B artist). And then there is the Dr. Dre features. He got it going on. He will be around for a while. Trust in that.

33.)    Janelle Monae did a Prince rendition? Of course she did. Janelle Monae rocked the house? Of course she did.

34.)    Best Gospel Award: Kirk Franklin. And I’m proud. Two things, though: why is his face swollen? Also, why is Lecrae considered a gospel artist? He’s an emcee. He raps about God (this is true). But I don’t think that he makes gospel. Chance The Rapper’s The Coloring Book is much more of a gospel album than anything Lecrae puts out.

35.)    Samuel L. Jackson won a Lifetime Achievement Award. Of course he did. He done played in so many movies its ridiculous. And he played those roles extremely/impressively well. So, of course he received an award.

36.)    Usher was boring. Moving along.

37.)    Coca Cola Viewer’s Choice Award: Beyonce. What a shock and a surprise.

38.)    And Sheila E closed out the night for all the Prince fans. Along with Jerome and that wonderful band, she went hard. And I must say she is probably one of the best female drummers ever. But hey: Sheila E is just great all around.