I Can’t Believe I’m Defending Jay Cutler

Jay Cutler was signed this week by the Miami Dolphins. The fact that Cutler was coaxed out of retirement and Colin Kaepernick was overlooked has angered many. For many, Cutler being offered a one-year deal worth $10 million with $3 million in incentives, serves as proof that Kaepernick is being blackballed. To them, Cutler’s signing justifies the argument that Kaepernick is being punished by the NFL for his decision to protest racial injustices during the national anthem last season. While there may be a case to be made about that, I think the signing of Cutler over Kaepernick doesn’t lend itself to this argument. But I get it: Nobody likes Jay Cutler. Nope, not even fans of the Chicago Bears.

Is Colin Kaepernick Better That Jay Cutler?

You can argue that Kaepernick is a better quarterback than Cutler. And yes, you’re entitled to feel that way. However, I’ll argue that in this instance it’s not about who is better, but instead, who is the better fit. I believe that Jay Cutler is the better fit for the Dolphins.

To be completely honest, if you know me, me making a case for Cutler is tantamount to sacrilege. Yes, it’s almost as bad as slapping my mother in the mouth. After all, I’m a fan of the Green Bay Packers and Cutler played for the Chicago Bears. As a Packers fan, I spent years on the right side of the NFL’s oldest rivalry giving no love to Cutler, ever. So when Chicago ended their relationship with Cutler this year, I didn’t pour out any liquor on his behalf. Basically, as a Packer fan, Brett Favre is God, Aaron Rodgers is Jesus, and Jay Cutler is an evil white devil created by Dr. Yakub. Yes, it’s that serious for me.

However, when I heard that the Dolphins were in need of a quarterback, my first thought was Jay Cutler. After all, Cutler had his best season statistically in Chicago, with Miami’s current head-coach, Adam Gase, as his offensive coordinator in 2015.

Jay Cutler Being Signed By Miami Makes Sense

The owners of NFL teams are no different from men who frequent nightclubs to get pussy, dick, or both. Like those men, all they want to do is score – as in, get some booty. They want to win. They want to win right now. And, they invest a lot of money in the pursuit of winning.

I used to be one of those guys at the club back in the day. I went to the club in hopes of, well, winning. Because of it, I overlooked a lot of women. These were women who, in my mind,  would require a lot of work and my time. In other words, in my mind, though I would’ve definitely loved to have sex with them, that shit wasn’t gonna happen that night. Maybe in the future, but not that night.

This didn’t mean that I was only focused on the drunk chicks passed out under the table in the corner. No, I’m not a rapist. And no, I’m not into the “too easy” types – that’s a problem. But best believe, on a slow night as the “last call for alcohol” drew near, when the pressure was on, I’d focus on what I’d like to call “the old faithful.”

Jay Cutler is an “Old Faithful” Quarterback

These were the women who were the for sure shot. These were the women that I’ve had the privilege of… err… seeing them naked before. Focusing on them at that time didn’t mean that I thought less of them; or that, unlike other women, they were easy. No, never that. In fact, even with them, I would strike out from time to time. Still, my chances of winning increased given our previous engagements, conversations, and relationship.

CHICAGO – OCTOBER 24: Jay Cutler #6 of the Chicago Bears reacts after throwing an interception against the Washington Redskins at Soldier Field on October 24, 2010, in Chicago, Illinois. The Redskins defeated the Bears 17-14. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jay Cutler

So what does this have to do with the NFL? It means that right now, teams aren’t interested in pursuing Colin Kaepernick for the same reason. It doesn’t mean he isn’t a good player. For them, it could be that he isn’t good enough. Either that or the fact that he comes with too much baggage that makes him unattractive. You know what baggage I’m talking about here. But just in case you don’t, think of it this way. Like the younger me, while I was looking to smash, the last thing I ever wanted was a long-term relationship beyond just that night. It doesn’t mean that I was opposed to future sexual encounters, however. At that time, it meant that I wasn’t trying to play step-dad or “uncle” to a set of kids that weren’t my own, all in the pursuit of an orgasm.

Jay Cutler Was the Best Fit for the Dolphins

I wasn’t trying to wake up the next day taking the kids to McDonald’s. It wasn’t worth it to me. It sounds mean, but this was where I was at that time as many single men are, and have been. This is exactly where NFL owners are today, folks.

And that my friends, is the reason the Miami Dolphins chose Jay Cutler over Colin Kaepernick. Cutler was a better fit. For them, it wasn’t about Kaepernick’s baggage. They went with a QB who already knows how they get down as opposed to teaching someone new how to give head. They’re trying to win now, and they did what was best for them.

Having taken a cost-benefit analysis themselves, I believe, like the Dolphins, other teams have as well. It’s not that he’s being blackballed as many may believe. It’s just that he isn’t good enough, and his baggage far outweighs his benefit to teams. The team needs aside, that would be, teams trying to win right now. Think about it this way. If Kaepernick was that good, why then were the San Francisco 49ers willing to cut him?

Why Didn’t the 49ers Keep Colin Kaepernick Kaepernick

in an interview with Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk, 49ers GM John Lynch explained why they would have cut Kaepernick had he chose not to opt out of his contract.

“… we had that conversation with him [Kaepernick]. So I don’t want to characterize it as he made a decision to leave here. We both sat down and under that current construct of his deal, it was a big number,” Lynch said. “Kyle [Shanahan] had a vision for what he wanted to do, and one thing I think Kyle was very clear and I think Colin appreciated, is that Kyle has an idea of how he’d play with Colin Kaepernick. But he preferred to run the exact offense that he ran in Atlanta last year that was record-breaking in this league. And if you change it for the quarterback, you change it for everybody on that offense. So he had a great discussion that I think gave Colin clarity, so we moved on.”

“I wish Kaepernick would let me be great.” – Jay Cutler

So there you have it, Colin Kaepernick really isn’t all that. He’s a one-dimensional and seriously inaccurate quarterback. To be fair, Cutler’s accuracy problems are also a concern and has been well documented. Nonetheless, Cutler is a better fit with the Dolphins. Unlike Kaepernick, he’s already familiar with the offensive scheme, the plays, and the verbiage. Cutler being signed before Kaepernick isn’t good evidence of Kaepernick being blackballed.