Attention Chris Brown stans: I’m waiting for you, you hear me? I see you on all the blogs, especially after Mr. Brown’s performance at the BET Awards, going off on anyone that does not and did not fall in awe at the feet of your messiah. The attacks are always the same fare:
“Get a life!”
“He still makes more money than you!”
“He still has adoring fans.”
“Your blog sucks!”
Oh, I am so ready for your rabid, yet ineffective vitriol. Bring. IT. ON. I’m letting you know right now that while Mr. Brown might have more in his bank account than I do, and has a cult of zombies who would eat their own mothers’ brains if he so much as hinted at it, and all that jazz, at least I don’t have a criminal record thanks to giving a beat down to a defenseless person who was smaller and frailer than me. No misdemeanors and no felonies on my end. No, sir…
On a serious note, I’m hoping to prevent a lot of the drama that unfolds in the comments sections
whenever anyone has the “nerve” to mention anything about Chris, even if it’s not unkind. It can never be kind enough, if you ask his fans. Even women who have been previously abused themselves, came to his defense, and in effect showing that they are still mentally abused, even if they’ve escaped the physical abuse.
I’m not here to question whether or not Chris was sincere or not. I almost think it’s inappropriate to do so. I don’t care enough to rip someone’s brain apart in that way. I hope he was sincere and I hope that his “breakdown” is a sign of better things to come for him. However, it doesn’t mean that I or anyone else should automatically give him a pass or forgive him for his actions. If anything, I think he was a day late and a dollar short. Had we seen this type of emotion on his part after his attack and abuse came to light, he might have stood a chance. Instead he retreated into the enabling of people whose collective self-esteem is suspect to me.
It’s almost hard to do so, because I feel like I am joining a group of people that have always been on his side, even when it was clear that he hit a woman. I just don’t want to join that chorus because it appears to me that their forgiveness was never earned, it was always there, waiting and eager. They often speak about forgiving Chris, and go on to remind us that we all sin–as if we didn’t know this already–so therefore we should forgive easily and quickly.
Then you have the fans who are quick to play the race card. “Man, y’all are harder on a brotha than white folks. We should forgive him because it’s hard for a brotha out here.” This is disingenuous because no one has been more accommodating and more forgiving, even after the pictures of Rihanna’s battered face came out, than his primarily black audience–which is tragic in and of itself. Are we supposed to support every black man or woman who has done something wicked just because they are black?
Forgiveness takes time. A very well-executed, albeit inauthentic, dancing tribute to Michael Jackson will not win my forgiveness. It’s not cheap, and it’s not for sale or enchantment. When I made mistakes smaller than Chris’ it took me time to forgive my own damn self. I’m supposed to forgive the kid because a few women find him sexy and his rich? If anything this quick forgiveness doesn’t help Chris at all. It only encourages him to run from his demons.
I don’t want to demonize a human being. We know that his mother is also responsible for his problem. But instead of dancing on stage, how about some counseling sessions? How about traveling to schools and talking to his fans–a good chunk of them young–about hitting women and how it’s stupid and just plain immoral and lecherous? We cannot connect because he has decided to not connect with anyone who isn’t a “stan.” Let’s not even get into the cycle of abuse.
It’s not about not forgiving. I believe that he can make a great turnaround if he wants it badly enough. I don’t think complaining about radio stations not playing his music (What did he expect?) and being quite as esteemed by the public shows the kind of growth that he needs to show for him to be forgiven by everyone.
I hope that one day he rises to his full potential but I’m not joining his flock of sheep just yet. My allegiance cannot be bought or seduced out of me.
So please save the tired attacks, Chris Brown Ultra-Stans. I don’t care, and it’s nothing personal. I wish him well, but I’m not going to just dole out forgiveness because it’s not for me to forgive. I have chosen not to fund him via his music because he has not proven that he is worthy of that. Is it fair? Absolutely. Mr. Brown knew this was the cost of fame. And that cost is a high one…