Awww man! Here I was just over on the Field Negro’s spot leaving a comment on a post about the state of music, or the garbage that passes for it on the radio, and I come back to this next story. The hat-tip for this one goes out to Mrs. Brock of the blog The Old Black Church! (Whatever Happened to the Black Church?). The real irony of this story is that it involves dancehall music in Jamaica.
Well, over at my man Field’s post I left a comment saying that I listen to a lot of dancehall with some very sexually suggestive lyrics, and thankfully my 15yr old doesn’t understand what the hell is being said in those songs. Well, my 15yr old may not be able to understand what the hell the rude boy n’ dem be sayin in those songs, but I’m sure she can read, and even she may find this disturbing.
You see, it would seem that there’s a problem in Jamaica folks. No, it’s not the weed, or the rampant crime. The problem in Jamaica is that people – namely men – are having so much fun in the clubs like my man in the pic above, that they’re breaking their penises. Yeah, I know right? I didn’t know the penis had a bone either. Ok so I’m just kidding about the bone thing, but Negroes are breaking their penis’ doing some dance called Daggering. What is “Daggering” you might ask? Well, it’s nothing but the latest dance craze sweeping the island.
Here’s a brief description:
Here’s what the ‘daggering’ dance craze involves: Basically, it’s taking the practice of grinding while dancing to the next level. Guys dance around with an erect penis trying to poke the ladies with it. It’s more or less simulated sex on the dance floor. Now, here’s where it gets interesting – apparently some guys have taken the practice into the bedroom, poking their partners anywhere and everywhere and when things get too rough, they fracture their penis, causing extreme pain, swelling and bruising. [Source: The Frisky]Umm, dancing and grinding on a woman in a club is one thing, but jumping off the headboard with an erect penis is not the smartest thing in the world to do folks. I know people do some “strange” stuff in bed, but poking your partner anywhere and everywhere is kinda out there to me. I mean seriously! What makes a guy wanna poke a woman with a hard dick, like under her armpit? Don’t laugh, being poked any and everywhere would mean that some fool is doing some shit like that; and lord knows where else they choose to poke liberally with the wee wee.
Jamaica’s Broadcasting Commission, which defines daggering as a “colloquial term used in dancehall culture as a reference to hardcore sex or what is popularly referred to as ‘dry sex’ or the activities of persons engaged in the public simulation of various sexual acts and positions”, enforced the ban in February. “There shall not be transmitted through radio or television or cable services, any recording, live song or music video which promotes the act of ‘daggering’, or which makes reference to, or is otherwise suggestive of ‘daggering’,” the Jamaican Broadcasting Commission’s official statement said.[Source]Now I can understand one idiot doing it, but for it to be the latest craze? I don’t know folks, me being from Trinidad & Tobago, and being used to winin’ up on a fat bamsee as we say, I have to wonder what my Jamaican cousins are putting in the weed these days. From the looks of it, Shabba Ranks wasn’t or isn’t the only one who is “Wicked Inna Bed”. These cats are off the chain thinking they can use Mr. Bozak as a weapon as they try to stab women with it. Apparently this has become such a problem that the gov’t in Jamaica is cracking down on any media promotion of the dance. I’ono y’all, but I think they need to crackdown on the weed or something.
Hopefully that shit doesn’t catch on here: