Beer? No, seriously? Let’s have a beer?? You mean to tell me that all the current racial tension dug up by the recent arrest of a Smart Negro by Cambridge police Sgt. Jim Crow(ley) is now going to be resolved by, beer? Well I be damned; who knew that beer would be the ultimate intervention centerpiece. You mean to tell me that Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream, people marched on Washington DC, had lunch counter sit-ins, got sprayed by fire hoses, and all of that could have been prevented if someone had decided to twist off the cap on a cold one? You mean to tell me it took all this time for this to be figured out? Damn, that Barack Obama guy is a genius. Yes he is; and the Bloods & Crips could have stopped their bullshit turf wars back in the 90’s if someone had thought of this.
Hopefully this new policy can be extended and used by way of foreign policy. Yep, nothing like a good old 40oz. Mr. Taliban leader. Yeah, Mr. Abdi Najad, you and Kim Jong Da Illest should come over to the crib and kick it; yeah, we’ll drink Budweiser and figure out the whole nuclear weapons beef. I mean hey the last thing we’d wanna do is start world war three and accidentally have one of your missiles destroy St. Louis or the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Nope, can’t have that because we’ll have no beer left; and then what would we be to do without that, right? Besides, that would totally kill the whole plan of getting those Muslim extremists drunk all over the world and have them do the Electric Slide.
You would have thought that George Bush would have already thought of this idea. I mean after all, he was touted in his campaign when he ran for president, to be the guy most likely you would have a beer with. That may have been true back then. But looking back I think Georgie Porgie drank a keg on a daily basis and screwed things up. Yep, he was drunk at the wheel alright, and that would probably explain the lies about weapons of mass destruction. I’m just sayin’, nothing like a national crisis the likes of 9/11 to cause you to hit the bottle really hard.
Let’s hope this doesn’t happen to Barack Obama after his upcoming beer fest at the White House. Here’s an idea: how about an invitation to Republicans, and Blue Dog Balls Democrats to the White House. Yeah, how about you get them drunk, and by the time they wake up with a hangover we’d have a public health care option. Sure all this media bullshit over his “acted stupidly,” comment will die down. But hopefully it doesn’t get kicked up again because M.C. Skippy G gets mad because there were no 40’s of Old English at the White House to satisfy his inner thugism. Hopefully he doesn’t get mad if they run out of Miller High Life; you know how the “Good Reverend Doctor” can be…