She’s Not Gonna Have Sex With You Dude

So it’s no shock that women don’t appreciate the exploitation of women in these mags. Contrary to popular belief, some of these publications DO hide a decent article or album review beneath all the bikinis and booty so I’ll continue to flip through them for just that.

Some say that men who condone the exploitation of women are worse than the women who allow themselves to be exploited. I don’t feel like arguing that today. I don’t care either way because I know something that most men & women don’t: The cover girls of Maxim, King, Smooth, FHM, and Stuff aren’t having sex with men like us!

They lie in their interview and say dumb stuff like.

“I just want a man who can treat me right. I need a regular guy.”

You know why they say that?

Because it’s regular guys who buy these publications, not the rich men that are taking them on trips to Tahiti for no reason. The interview gives you, ‘Jim J McRegular Guy’ the illusion of chance. You read the interview and you start thinking that you have a chance at one of these gorgeous women.

Newsflash asshole…You don’t.

You want to see something funny ladies, watch a group of men look at one of these magazines. You’ll see us all crowded around the magazine like a laptop with a porno playing. And then one dude in the group hollers out…

“Man if I was dating her, you couldnt tell me nothing !! Man Imma go to L.A. and pull her. Go, put my mack down.”

What are you talking about? You work 7 hours a week at Dairy Queen, Vida Guerra DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. You’re not even on the Blizzard machine yet. You still make Chili dogs. Lower your expectations and give the girl at the Dollar Store your phone number. She’s half way cute, her limp is kind of sexy, and taking her to Wal-Mart would be the equivalent of taking Vida Guerra to Tahiti.