Pure F*ckery: Being Proud of Selling Coochie Edition (Or: Shoulda Neva Gave You N*ggas Money!)

So I’m hearing that Obama & Co. are about to expand access to the internet in rural areas across the country. I suppose there’s no harm in “Bubba” and his family having internet access. I mean why should they have to live their lives with cow tipping and frog gigging as their only source of entertainment, right?

Well, there’s one thing that scares me about all of this. That would be, opening up a whole world of internet fuckery to the virgin eyes and minds of good white folks. You know, the ones who’ve forgotten that black people existed since we got off the plantation and moved to Chicago until Barack got elected?

I can only imagine how pissed off Jethro would be when he comes to the realization that good white folks died to give Negroes their freedom against his wishes. Yep, Rosa Parks caught a case, and Martin Luther King Jr. was sprayed with water-hoses while trying to avoid his ass being bitten off by racist German Shepherds; all with the intent to give black people access or the ability to upload videos on YouTube.

Yes, a lot of good white and black people died in the struggle, to give black people the right to access the internet and exercise their first amendment right to freedom of speech and expression. And it is with this in mind, that I celebrate what is America by eating BBQ, drinking beer, and shooting fireworks this weekend.

For we as a people have come a long way:


Not exactly a female empowerment anthem like “Single Ladies”, but in a recession I guess it’ll do. Plus anytime a woman is confident to wear a necklace laced with Magnum condoms is always a plus.

Those good country white folks might not be too mad once they discover Lady Gaga or Kat Stacks. Plus, the internet porn sites containing bestiality might be an acceptable compromise in the face of exposure to Negro internet fuckery.

Oh well, this shit beats those racist Barack Obama emails, even though we can’t cry racism.

Jesus wept

Umm, does that Negro call himself Dope Fiend Pimpin’ Jerry??