Ladies, It’s Time To Learn Some Self-Defense

By Seattle Slim

There are far more videos like this at, but I don’t feel like linking that shit. I will just use this one video to illustrate my point.

Whether it’s Chris Brown or some random ass clown who obviously has had insufficient home training, it seems that men are forgetting to keep their hands to themselves, and it just doesn’t seem to be garnering that much negative attention these days.

Take Mel Gibson and Chris Brown. Gibson has gotten less attention (in my opinion) than Brown, but they both seem to be left alone to their own devices. Hell, I don’t even know if Gibson will face charges the way things are going. We could argue that it’s privilege, and fame, and money… But I think that ignores the fact that on any given day, I can find some user submitted video of a some guy clocking some girl in the face.

In one recent video, a black male spectator having just witnessed a black woman get knocked bloody, commented that “bitches” need to stop running their mouths or else they will get hit.

I don’t think anyone questions a man’s ability to defend himself from anyone if attacked, or if his family is attacked. What I do question, is this idea that women deserve to get their asses beat for stepping to a male. My personal opinion is, if I don’t matter, as long as I’m not wielding a knife, abusing you or anything that will cause immediate and serious harm to you then you can just as easily restrain me or walk away. I have to do that as a woman with other women who might get hyper. I can’t just put my fist to someone’s face because I feel like it or because they were talking all that mess. Why do some men today feel like the rules of engagement have changed?

And ultimately, that’s what it comes down to. It seems that the rules of engagement have changed, or are changing, to where despicable, wicked behavior towards women is alright because we want to be seen as “equals.” That’s right. Some men have commented that because we asked for equality, we therefore should be able to take a punch like equals. But the same men that say this, adhere to the strictest of gender roles (must know how to cook, clean, tend to children almost alone, good sex when he wants on demand). That’s not equality most of the time. I guess it comes in handy when you want to put your hands on woman.

Who is to blame? I might get flamed for this, but I’m finding that it’s not just men teaching their sons that hitting women is okay. In fact, I’m finding that there are quite a few mothers, most of them admittedly single, that have made it clear that they’ve told their sons it’s okay to hit a woman if she hits first. This is wrong because it’s physically not fair, but it’s also a great disservice to their own sons. The woman may get away with attacking their sons, but the sons will not get away no matter the circumstances. I blame the fathers who are absent, but I blame the mothers who have obviously lost their damned minds for this surplus of men who act like beasts.  We’ve come to hate ourselves as women so much that we’re passing that hate unto our sons. 

Furthermore, it doesn’t leave room for these men to be accountable for their actions. If a man strikes out at a woman, and hits her first, he will always feel justified in beating her ass down, even if she defends herself from his attacks. In fact, these are the same kind of guys who will do something that warrants some kind of physical fending off, but will be doubly insulted at a good punch to the face for something like me defending myself from being jumped, rape, robbery, etc.

I’m of the belief that the feminism we’ve come to understand today was not tailored to the minority experience, but at the same token, I feel like something that powerful in the hands of certain people was not helpful to women period. You would think that we’ve regressed in some ways. I will advocate my sons learn to be wise, and choose battles, and that it’s not okay to put your hands on a woman unless their lives are in immediate danger, or their families, friends, or someone in need is in immediate danger.  You should get the picture.

Ladies, if you have a clue, you know that these days, living in the world is like living in the Wild Wild West. It’s not safe anymore. The media has turned us into faceless meat that serves one or two good purposes. If you’re a minority, especially a black woman, you’re really in a jam because you know you basically don’t matter.

I cannot stress enough taking up boxing, martial arts or carrying a weapon (preferably a knife AND pepper spray and I mean the good kind that will make someone want to cough their lungs up). If you find yourself in a situation where a guy is abusive, or you are out with friends, and find yourself in a compromising position with a male, you need to be able to wet the place up if necessary. Usually, pepper spray is highly effective, especially if you get the right kind. A taser or stun gun are also great options. Even if you have to practice at home with some shadowboxing or kicks, do it. Fighting is a primal instinct. You don’t need lessons on how to fight, although they help. You can teach yourself how to be an extremely dangerous weapon if need be, and it’s a great workout.

Earlier this year, I was hit in the face by a relative who should’ve known better, but did not. Yes, even the people we appreciate and love, can fall for the hype. Couple that naivete and ignorance with a heavy dose of coddling and enabling, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for the situation I found myself in. I couldn’t just sit there. I had to fight back and I did enough to send a message: “IF you hit me, I will hit you back and you will not like it.”

You have to be able to take a punch, and to keep going. You also have to know the tactics that will get you in and out. Even in my karate class, I learned that staying and fighting is not the first option. It’s the one you have to take when there are no other options.

It’s hunting season on women, and you know that. We are not the only ones being hunted (as young boys are hunted at a very young age), but we are the easiest ones to hunt for longer periods of time. Don’t think your sex will save you. Learn to protect yourself, and learn some self-defense. The idiots like the guy above are procreating. They are not facing enough repercussions. It’s time to get over the idea that we will be protected.

The rules of engagement have changed…for the worse.