Hey, Quincy Jones: Who Stole Your Soul, Brother?

Dear Quincy Jones,

I know you’re a musical genius and all; yes, you are in fact “The Dude”. But today sir, in my mind’s eye, you’re an asshole for allowing T-Pain to remake Michael Jackson’s “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)”. What, did Michael Jackson owe you money? And is this how you get even?

No seriously, have you no soul, Quincy?

This is pure bullshit; and no, having Robin Thicke on the track makes it no better, Quincy. First off, nobody, and I mean nobody, should ever redo anything Michael Jackson has ever done. But, if you’re gonna take a chance on pissing off more than a few people, did you have to have the auto-tune coon on the project?

I mean here I thought MC Hammer making a comeback by starting some bullshit beef with Jay-Z was bad. But now I get wind of this sacrilegious musical crime? But then I realized it was you Quincy who made this shit possible. Yep, and it was you who conveniently skipped out on MJ’s memorial with a lame excuse.

Yes Quincy, did you think I forgot the shit you were talking about MJ right after his death? Yeah, I haven’t forgotten, and I always thought that was a bitchass move, Quincy. Telling the media that Michael, “obviously didn’t want to be black,” while they all shit on him when his body wasn’t even cold spoke volumes about you.

Hope the money is worth it, Quincy; and I also hope that should you decide to have somebody cover ‘Billie Jean’ in the near or distant future, that you do us a favor and at least see if they can fuckin hold a note, bitch.