Hatred of Aftermarket Parts!

[Editor’s Note: I’m pleased to welcome and present to you the newest member of the writing team of this blog, folks. Give it up for my man Folk of the blog Black Folks Don’t Swim.]

What’s up people? Folk standing at the intersection of motherfvcking madness and reality in this b!tch. And I just wanted to share my absolute hatred of after-motherfvcking-market parts. Folk is an OEM (original equipment manufacturer) kind of guy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to see jazzed up aftermarket shyt just to spice up a boring day. But to own that shyt. Come one. Before y’all get all crazy and thang, Folk ain’t talking ’bout no 24’s, dubs, or crazy stereos either. To keep this topic simple, Folk talking ’bout fake azz tiddies azz tiddies. That’s right. Folk can’t stand Aftermarket Tiddies. And Folk dares a motherfvcking man in the room to disagree. Now before y’all youngin’s get all testosteroned up, let’s look at the aftermarket tiddy in detail and then you can post up your disagreements.

Disclaimer: This discussion does not apply to those who have undergone cosmetic surgery after surviving breast cancer or some horrid accident that fvcked up your girls. Y’all exempt. So let us continue.

First: Quality Costs. We’ve all seen the woman with the bad boob job. It’s no different than the motherfvcker who painted their whip with car paint in a spray can. You get what you fvcking pay for! If you can’t afford the best aftermarket equipment then you can’t afford to modify your OEM equipment. PERIOD!  $

Second: Maintenance. Fellas while ya’ll all giddy giddy over the double ds, y’all ain’t thanking about the routine maintenance that has to be performed on the aftermarket tiddies. Every two years, it’s recommended that a motherfvcker get a MRI to ensure these fvckers aren’t leaking or have burst. $$

Third: Care. Can’t be too rough with the aftermarket accessories because they damage way easier than the OEMs. That’s right, don’t grab on those fvckers too hard or too much. Remember rupture or bursting. Like to wrestle with your girl? Think twice if there are aftermarket tiddies in the place. Like to get rough while getting getting it, a little bondage, or role play? And watch that flower you want to pin on your girl, might puncture some shyt that will cost $$$ to repair!

Fourth: Replacement parts. Ask any motherfvcker with a nice ride that riding on some aftermarket shyt and they will tell you to be careful with they shyt because the shyt is expensive to replace… Well so are the tiddies and they will need to be replaced! The life span for aftermarket tiddies are 7-15 years. After which it is suggested that those fvckers are replaced. So those tiddies you love at 20, better not get to fond to them by time you’re 35! $$$$$

Fifth: Decorum (some of you BETistic fvckers may need to wiki this word). Who the fvck puts 26″ chrome rented wheels on a fvcking lexus anyway? Ladies, if your man is pressuring you to undertake major surgery to “enhance” yourself physically for him. Fvck him in the azz with a diamond laced broom handle and then pour some brown liquor in it as you walk out the door! Leave his fickle azz! He’s no good and is not worth the treasure you truly are. And fellas, if your girl wants aftermarket tiddies… RUN B!TCH RUN! There’s a 99.9999% chance she is insecure in who she is as a person and you ain’t bout to be happy with a motherfvcker who is unhappy with themselves.  $$$$$$$$$$

So what have we learned today? Aftermarket parts aren’t all glitter and gold. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of how much the true costs (real and psychological) those fvckers really are over time. And ladies, love yourself for yourself and not some two bit motherfvcking man. There are plenty of men out here standing at the intersection of madness and reality who will love you small tiddies and all!

Speak on it. Real tiddies or not.