Guest Blogger: Ladies, can we talk? Why are you speaking so loudly? I can’t hear what you say! (by Carey Carey)

(Editor’s Note:I don’t know how my man Carey of the blog Carry Me Home found my blog, but I know he wasn’t scared to comment. Ever since then he has become of of my favorite people here in the blogosphere. This young man is hilarious and quite observant of many things he sees and has a unique way of delivering his thoughts. Do check him out, and add him to your blogroll y’all.)

The last time I checked, the blog sphere is covered. The incisive blogger, Max Reddick, has his eye on Jessie Jackson, the reverend Al Sharpton, and Rush Limbaugh. Mason Jamal said it loud and clear, “what’s love got to do with it. I’m just trying to be heard.” Citizen Ojo sent out a reminder that the vote was bigger than a loud mouth, or a quiet one And of course, RiPPa always has his foot waaaay up in somebodies ass. The last time I checked, he said a lie don’t love nobody. Having said all that, I find myself in a quandary. I have to squeeze in where I can get in.

I have to talk about relationships.

Now I am not a relationship guru, yet I am a single black man in America, so it’s natural that some things have been starring me right in my face. Well, it’s become apparent to me that the majority of RiPPa’s readers are females, and he says he love them all. But see, although I respect him and his readers, and do not want to offend anyone, I gotta do my thang. I mean, some may take this personally, but if nobody told you they loved you – today – I do.

Can I be serious for just a few moments? Is that okay?

I just have a few questions that is burning in my soul.

Tell me…

can a man be so undesirable that it’s likely he will never find a good woman?

I am leaning towards yes. Well, what about a woman – huh? Is it possible that some women will not be able to catch a man even if she was locked in a penitentiary with a thousand of them? Silly I know. It is a stretch isn’t it, but let me tell you a little story…

I was lured to a woman’s house. The particulars of that enticement are not important, but when I got there, things weren’t right. She lit a few candles and turned on some soft music. The look in her eyes told me she wanted love. But wait…. I didn’t say why she really fired up the candles. It would be wrong for me to tell her business, but again, something was askew. This wasn’t my first rodeo, so I shifted into auto pilot. Before I had a chance to lay down my magic to tell her why I had to rush away, she appeared from a darkened room. She wasn’t wearing a damn thang, and things were still askew. When I grabbed my hat and shook out my coat, she said, “What?…. you don’t like p*ssy?”

Now I am not going to tell the end to that story (lol) but, is it possible that a man can be tricked into a relationship, and thus, have the right to terminate it when he pleases? For instance, aside from the many other trickerations that woman deploy, what good is a woman that can’t cook – huh?! Somebody has to tell me, because isn’t that like a car without tires? Where are we going? Where?….. to bed, then what? Okay, we’re in the bed and we’re hungry. It’s 3 am and there’s no leftovers because she doesn’t cook. I am sorry, but isn’t that what prostitutes are for…. hit it and be on with it? They don’t cry about being dumped or used. We don’t hear Sugar daddies expressing feelings of being manipulated.

I know I’ve taken a few liberties by embellishing a couple of small details, but this is a serious issue. Seriously, some woman are crying in the dark and I need to know why. I am of the opinion that a person gets what they give. I mean, granted, love is what love do, but a person can’t find love with a fly swatter. Hold up…. I simply mean, birds of a feather seem to flock together. Consequently, if a person is drawing flies…..

I am relatively sure there are some women that agree with me. See, they see all the disguises women use, and hear their cries about the man waking up, and scurrying away – forever. Now see, all that unpleasantness could be averted if women didn’t come through the door wearing a costume – out of season. Come on know, for real, that hair from South East Asia and Nicaragua, looks real good. Not to mention those push-up bras and fake eyelashes. I mean, those are disposable items and not a part of the original package. When those thangs come off, the game done changed. Thus, some men have to respond. They changeCheck Spellingge right with it, and catch their hat – forever. Wouldn’t it be easier for women to stop crying about being dumped, and instead, dump all the games. Cleaning her house would be a good start. Stop hiding men under her bed would be another great place to start.

I am not trying to tell all my business, but a woman once told me she like her pleasure without protection. I said, “damn baby, I ain’t trying to be baby daddy # 4”. She said she didn’t mean she wasn’t protected. She said she had her own thang. I told her I wasn’t trying to be funny or disrespectful but….. “it appears you may be a liar or you have lucky charms”. I mean, what’s up with women that have multiple babies by several different men? Is that what it takes for some women to keep men around. Then again, what type of man are they attracting?

Seriously, this mess ain’t funny, and Congress ain’t talking about it, neither are most women.

Don’t believe me? Turn on Oprah and see what she’s talking about. Turn on Dan Blather and see what he’s talking about. Tyler Perry is talking, but who watches that coonery? We need to talk. Am talking about the real thang.

I personally know some women who will not accept a man who does not earn a specific salary. Yeah, and then they holler….. “There aren’t enough good men!”. To be fair, and honest, there are men with the same mindset. The begging question: Is that wrong? Hey, come on, you know it, I can be broke and miserable by myself.

Maybe it’s me, but I am tired-tired-tired of hearing women moan when they ain’t bringing nothing to the table but a groove thang. Maybe it’s just me but I have a sneaking feeling I am not alone. Trick & Treat is on October 30th of every year. but some women keep the mask on – year round. See, we need to talk, cause something just ain’t right.

As previously mentioned, the political scene is covered. So am trying to find out what’s in the heart of women, cause something just ain’t right in the old hen house. This ain’t Shakespeare. Am takin bout the real thang. Can we talk?