Epic Fail: Chicago loses 2016 Olympic bid

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Black people, yeah, yeah, yeah I know; it’s a sad, sad day for us. In case you didn’t know, the city of Chicago lost its bid to host the 2016 Olympics to Rio de Janegro or one of those countries on the Southside of Mexico. Yep, and it’s especially sad because such an event would have provided so much for our Mississippi cousins who all migrated to the north to escape the horrific life that was the south after Lil’ John came out screaming Bia Bia.

I don’t know what’s worse; not getting the Olympics or knowing that the two most powerful Black people in the world failed. Do you realize just how big this is? Shit, if Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey couldn’t get the Olympics to be hosted in Chicago, we Negroes should just g’head and forget about reparations, jobs, getting’ rid of the bumps on the back of Forrest Whitaker’s neck n’ all’dat. Yep, throw the idea of Obama being president and gettin’ the bad credit of Negroes erased out the window, son; we’re screwed, and we should all find us a late night talk show host to extort while we still can. I could be wrong, and Rush Limbaugh could be right; but maybe Chicago would have won if Obama had his ACORN homies stuffing the ballot boxes at the vote.

One question: Were they not feeling his sales pitch in Copenhagen because he’s Black or because they’re not down with the idea of Universal Health Care for the entire world?

With Cook County Illinois being the county with the largest Black population per capita in the country getting the Olympics would have been a major economic boost. Hell, do you know how many Black people in Chicago were looking forward to that money? Shoot, Negroes have already been kickin’ out dead beat relatives who pay rent with food stamps! No shit, all this week after the news that Obama and Oprah was going to Copenhagen, folk been breaking out the Febreeze and the good dishes so they can list rooms on Craigslist for $1000.00/night.

I don’t know if you realize it or not, but renting a room to some white folks from overseas for a few weeks who know nothing about Cabrini Greens, J.J. Evans, or Good Times is a major come up. And you know what’s messed up right now? I could just imagine all the talk about how them white folks were scared to come to Chicago after that Derrion Albert video was all over the internet the other day. Yep, you know they gonna say it was because Negroes don’t know how to act, right? Which is bullshit because it ain’t like Toni Kucoc who used to play with the Chicago Bulls ever had any problems with n*ggas when he used to go to Chik Rick’s on the weekends (BTW: Chicago people? Is The Copper Box on 79th still open?).
Truth is: Chicago lost it’s Olympic bid because R. Kelly is a free man; and you know what that means…
On some real shit, I hear Obama ain’t too happy about losing the bid. Hell, I heard Oprah was so depressed afterward that she decided to give Stedman some booty instead of Gail. Word on the street is that Obama is ‘bout to slip some of that act right in that Swine Flu vaccine just fo’ dem fools in the Chicago astreets. I think in all seriousness it would have been a major boost to the city’s economy as does any major international event hosted anywhere. I also do believe that some of the disappointment is due in large part to the current state of the economy. Which is sad because it’s not like jobs would be created overnight had they won the bid today. But hey, I guess when all you hear is bad news as things get tougher, any good news is welcomed.

Don’t feel bad Chicago, it could be worse…

Aside from the Chicago Cubs…

You could be like Cleveland; a city full of loser teams and suicidal sports fans.