In one of his stand-up routines speaking on race as always, my man Paul Mooney warned white folks that if they shook their family tree hard enough, that a “nigger” would fall out. Which is funny because I’ve noticed that when it comes to any claims of racial heritage by some of the white folks I’ve encountered, they never mention anyone of color.
Though many admit they’re mixed like a a bag of Planters Nuts. It is very rare that one of them ever mentioned anything or any black folks in their lineage. For some, the only thing “exotic” about them is that one drop of Native American blood that crawls through their veins pridefully, and ever so slowly.
Yeah, they’re mostly happy to tell you that “they got Indian in they family,” like the black women who still rock that 1986 Janet Jackson baby hair on the side of their heads to this damn day; you know our folk are messed up like that…
But I digress.
Well, in what has to be a shocker within the circles of racist-wannabe-nazis, mein kampf reading, black boot wearing, bald-headed cretins, comes the news that the supreme overlord of the “Aryan Nation”, Adolf Hitler, was a descendant of Africans and Jews. No seriously, that’s some irony for that ass, ain’t it?
Yep, how’s that for a wake up call to embrace our new-found post-racialness; or, instead, be the impetus to write a suicide note with crayons if you loved the bastard. Some of ’em are going to deny these findings like some brothas do when they get women pregnant. And you know they are, maaaaaaannnnn!
For some, I see them chalking this up to be more of that Obama conspiracy crap. But let’s be honest, can you blame them? Much like Louis Farrakhan eating a pork chop sandwich at the end of a sex tape with Bette Midler; this revelation is bound to scar your brain. No seriously, can ya picture that shit?
Quite naturally you’re going to assume it to be a “set up by the Jews,” meant to discredit Minister Farrakhan; especially if you’re a member of the Nation of Islam. I guess it’s sorta like waking up one day and finding out that your wife has been having sex with your best friend. Yeah, that’s some stuff you never get over that may make you wanna kill yourself, and/or somebody.
I suppose hearing or accepting the truth is a human flaw, no?