BREAKING NEWS: Kim Kardashian Dating Uncle Ben!

by Gary Hardwick

Running out of famous Black athletes to sleep with, Kim K runs her booty game on an old school legend.

HOLLYWOOD – The reality show world was rocked today when it was announced that celebutard Kim Kardashian was in “a very serious” relationship with rice magnate Uncle Ben.  The two have been seen snuggling and kissing all around L.A.

“Kim’s in love,” said one anonymous friend.  ‘She likes her men black and rich, I guess she doesn’t cares about age.”

Many in the gossip community think Kardashian and her sisters are goldiggers, targeting rich, not too bright black athletes to marry and mate with.  One report said Kim K. and her sister had a leather-bound copy of the NFL and NBA Salary Report, looking for prospects.  Kim was reported to have said. “They really should list IQ’s in here next to the signing bonuses.”

But in a twist of fate, it seems Kardashian is being relieved of her funds by the legendary Uncle Ben.  Spies report that Kim K has been buying Uncle Ben expensive suits, bow ties, jewelry and a Bently.  This is surprising as Ben is said to be worth $9 billion or so.

“Dude is ringing her bell,” said Curtis Jackson a local paparazzi.  “Kim is usually all about what she can get from a man but now, she’s spending that dollar like somebody put a jackhammer in her pants, ha ha ha!”

Neither Kim nor Uncle Ben would affirm the affair or comment.  Ben just says she’s a “nice girl.”

No one knows where this May December romance is going but it sure has tongues wagging as the couple continues to be seen around Hollywood.

“Man, they need to just come out with it,” says Jackson.  “I saw Uncle Ben with Kim at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, my man was on that ass like white on rice.”

Copyright 2010

[Editor’s Note: Gary Hardwick is a successful film director, screenwriter and novelist. He has written many films, including Universal’s hit Bring It On, Trippin’, The Brothers and Deliver Us From Eva.  Gary began his carrer in television, starting as a staff writer and eventually becoming Executive Producer for NBC’s In the House. Shout out once again to my man Gary for the guest post  – one day hopefully  tyI’ll grow up to be just like him. Read More: &]