Arnold Shwarzennegger Has A 10-Year-Old “Black Baby”

OK folks, so I’m getting ready to head out of town for a few days, and then it hit me: what ever happened to the good old days when a white man could have children by his “servant” and his wife stuck by his side? Yeah, remember those days? Ok, so there’s no way in hell you remember, but surely you knew how light-skinned Negroes came to be, right? Uh-huh, we all know about Thomas Jefferson’s Black babies thanks to Black History Month, right? Bu today, my man Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife are on the outs, because, well….

The Terminator got some side action:
After twenty-five years of marriage, Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced that they were separating last week. According to the Los Angeles Times, the woman with whom Schwarzenegger fathered a child worked for his family for twenty years until last January.

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago,” said Schwarzenegger in a statement, according to the New York Times. “I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.”

Shriver released a statement on the matter on Tuesday.

“This is a painful and heartbreaking time,” she said. “As a mother, my concern is for the children. I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment.” (source)Surely this is yet another sign of our now widely accepted “post-racial” bliss. Back in the day Arnold and Maria would never split over this. Instead, they would have adopted young “Ill Neggar” ( BTW, pretty cool how I pulled “illegitimate” and the darker ethnic side of his daddy’s name together, huh?) from his crack-smoking Black mother; sent him to a private school where he would’ve learned to play football and get into the NFL like Sandra Bullock does.

But no, today “Black babies” are embarrassing. Especially in this case when the baby-momma-servant-lady worked for you the whole time and Maria Shriver didn’t know until he finally quit his job as governor of California. Which I’m sure clears up any suspicions Maria Shriver ever had over the years. I mean, surely she was suspicious of the little ten-year-old mixed kid with the afro, muscles, and that jacked up foreign accent. Shoot, I know I would if I were her.

And of course I can hear you saying: well RiPPa there ain’t no way of knowing that Arnold’s side-piece-servant was Black fool!! And you know what, you’re right. I tell you one thing; the chances of her being Latina is more likely than her being Black. Hell, they live in California; the state where Republican politicians are against “illegal immigrants” unless they employ them.

So yeah, the kid might not actually be Black, but if said kid’s mother is what I think she is, well then that kid is Black. That’s unless he/she looks like my man Eddie Blue Eyes, my Puerto Rican “illegal immigrant” buddy.