Columbus Day: A Celebration of Imperialism, Racism, & Death

So the kids were out of school yesterday; all banks and government offices were closed as well to observe Columbus Day. For many it’s just another day off and nothing special. Which is pretty sad when you think about it, because if it wasn’t for Chris, well, there’d quite possibly be no jobs, schools, or banks here in the not-so-new world back then. Let’s be honest, it’s not everyday that someone on their way to the store for some goodies, will “discover” something or anything that will forever change the trajectory of existence and life as we know it. That is with exception to the onetime I found out that touching a certain body part not only gave me fuzzy feelings; but also a real sticky substance reminiscent of okra. I kinda sorta digress, but you get my point.

Discovering a whole new world is a pretty bug fucking deal; so big, that I’m sure Joe Biden will endorse it as such. Which when you think about it, there’s some irony to Mitt Romney giving a major speech on foreign policy, on Columbus Day of all days. After all, there’s something sleazy about Romney in a slave-trader sorta way like Christopher Columbus, O.G. of all one-percenters.

I don’t know how Columbus is Day is celebrated in America; yes, I’m not sure exactly how people choose to observe the day. However, shouldn’t there be like fire works, a parade, a few rapes and some good old-fashioned pestilence or something? I dunno, maybe even exchange blankets as gifts after a hearty meal with the traditional stuffed turkey being the centerpiece? You know, sorta like Christmas without all the love and Christianity; like something Native Americans can relate to.

Yeah, because nothing says, “Let’s party like it’s 1492,” like a little White Supremacy, given the fact that America is post-racial, isn’t it time that we made this day mean something more than a paid holiday, or a 33% off sale in the name of capitalism, and everything that’s right with America?