John Boehner and Ted Nugent Just Want to Die

Heroes die for real causes. Republicans like John Boehner and Ted Nugent, want to die for causes only selfish, dumb Americans would think are important and vital. You will recall that Nugent said he would be “Dead or in jail” if Obama were re-elected. Unfortunately he is nether six feet under nor behind bars…yet.

One has to feel a bit of sympathy for a guy like Nugent. I mean it can’t be easy to grow older and lose the one skill you have in life. To realize that you no longer have any real worth or meaning. Nugent does realize this, I mean he could do one thing well and if you really think about it, his music would be considered horseshit in any country that has real culture. But here in America he was once considered an artist…but not anymore.

Now Nugent just spews hate filled bile about the President while his former shit kicker fans eat it up. Well, not just his fans but many Tea Party politicians as well. They have him at their rallies and he has become the new poster boy for the NRA. One only has to look at Nugent and you automatically see everything that is wrong with America. The secret service even had to pay him a visit after he made that remark about dying (I guess he meant being killed by a good guy with a gun) or ending up in jail if Obama was re-elected. They discovered he was just full of shit. He doesn’t have the courage to do anything but talk and talk and talk. He is just another coward who tries to talk tough. A nobody.

We know this because he pretended to be crazy by shitting and pissing on himself to avoid Vietnam. Yet of course he loves war and guns and other people’s children dying. That’s OK.

ted-nugent-tea-party (1)He is also a pedophile. We now know this because of a song he sang in 1981 called “Jailbait.” Here are some of the lyrics..

Jailbait you look so good to me..Jailbait won’t you set me free ..Jailbait you look fine fine fine.. I know I’ve got to have you in a matter of time

Well I don’t care if you’re just thirteen.. You look too good to be true.. I just know that you’re probably clean.. There’s one lil’ thing I got to do to you.

Yes this is the face of the NRA and the Tea Party Republicans. How proud they obviously are.

John Boehner on the other hand doesn’t want to go to jail. He would just rather die than raise the minimum wage. You see paying a barely living wage to those who work 100 times harder than him and his colleagues, while trying to support their families, is just too much for a guy making over $200,000 a year to deal with. He gets heart palpitations just thinking about it.

He is so stuck on the lie that raising the minimum wage kills jobs, even though there is no proof whatsoever that is the case, that he just couldn’t live through such an injustice. Obama should respond to this nonsense by saying exactly what F.D.R. said about the issue. That if a business won’t pay a living wage to its workers, they have no business in this country. Obama can update that statement by saying these companies can simply get the fuck out. Good riddance. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

For Boehner the answer is simple. A nice warm bath, a couple of razor blades, and a nice glass of Merlot. Just like Michael V. Gazzo in “The Godfather, Part II” it might be time to sacrifice himself for the better good of everyone else. I mean if he really just can’t live in a country that pays its citizens enough money to do things like buy food and keep a roof over their heads then it could just be time to end it all.

I wouldn’t want him to be in pain. It’s just not right.

Yes Ted Nugent and John Boehner just want to die. Their words. To live in a civilized society is just way too much for either of them to bare.

Something tells me life would go on for the rest of us. Just a hunch.