Clint Eastwood’s Bizarre, Awkward, & Very Republican RNC Speech

After watching Clint Eastwood’s performance at the Republican National Convention I asked myself: “Self, did that really just happen? Was there an old white man on my TV babbling incoherently? And did he really just disrespect Pres. Barack Obama on national television??” After which, gravity took over and brought me back to earth as Self said: “That’s right, Patrick, this did happen. It’s the Republican National Convention, what else did you expect?” It was then that I realized that I had been duped by the strategic trotting out of numerous minorities and women, to sing praises of the GOP’s presidential nominee, Mitt Romney. Clearly, the GOP is still the party that’s for us by us, and we ain’t talking FUBU.

Clint Eastwood helped remind us, that the Republican Party is still the political party of nostalgic old white men, bent on holding back the hands of time, and the winds of change. Having said that, it’s no surprise that John Wayne and Ronald Reagan holograms were not brought out on stage for last night’s grand finale. Why would they when the party is seemingly out of touch with reality and technological advances. Having said that, I think it’s fair to say that Clint Eastwood put the “Honky” in the “Honkytonk Man” with his performance at last night’s Republican National Convention.

In his speech, Clint Eastwood said that the country doesn't need a lawyer in the White House; he said we need a businessman. What's hilarious is that Mitt Romney also has a Law Degree from Harvard.

Eastwwod’s performance proved that he is struggling to any form of relevance; it was much like the character in the aforementioned film, and the obviously out-of-touch Republican Party. But don’t tell that to the sea of “whiteness” that cheered with raucous approval in attendance at the Tampa bay Times Forum. My guess is that GOP supporters at watching at home reacted in a similar fashion. And, something tells me that the Romney campaign would have raised somewhere in the neighborhood of $20 million dollars today, had Eastwood opted to whip an “imaginary Obama” like a runaway slave rather than debate an empty chair. Hey, he might as well; hell, he practically told “Imaginary Obama” to go fuck himself; and, he received maybe the biggest round of applause second to what Romney received at the conclusion of his speech. However, no word on how Eastwood may be feeling now after waking up to the realization that he debated an “Imaginary Obama” and lost. But don’t be surprised when you hear Republican-ran state legislators introducing voter suppression laws to counter the colored furniture vote — yep, they’re tricky like that.

All jokes aside, now that the RNC is over, I’m glad that the GOP opted to have Clint Eastwood show up as their surprise guest. The decision to do so as mentioned before, ultimately reinforces the notion that as a political party, they are completely out of touch with society. After all, they could have had Kunta Kinte make a surprise guest appearance to talk about how bad and oppressive Obama has been for America since elected. But then again, they did have Artur Davis speak last Tuesday. However, given the epic fail that was Clint Eastwood, and Mitt’s non-specific , yet pander-to-all speech It’s safe to say that people are only voting for Mitt Romney because he’s white.