The Snow, The Dog, & The Lion: Michael Vick, Climate Deniers, & Quacks

Michael Vick, Climate Deniers, and Quacks
Self-righteousness is the load din raised to drown the voice of guilt within us.
— Eric Hoffer

The Center of the Known Universe just got about 20 inches of snowfall the other day. An old-fashioned snowstorm. Two things jump out at me immediately: the mayor chastising New Yorkers for being quite vocal about their displeasure on how the storm was handled and the knee-jerk reaction from the conservative climate change deniers. The first item is quite strange. The mayor, last I looked, works for us. And… the response to the snowfall was sub par, to say the least. The mayor should be out there fucking shoveling snow, instead of whining about our critique of his management capability.

The second item is even more exasperating. The media whores, the front-line of the corporate-funded “libruhl bias,” would embarrass Pavlov’s dogs they salivate so much after a snowstorm. You see, it seems these dolts don’t know the difference between weather and climate. So, if it snows, it means that the overwhelming scientific consensus/ evidence on global warming caused by human activity (Anthropomorphic Global Warming — AGW) is really a vast socialistic conspiracy to make us bow down to the treehugger agenda. Tragically, Americans for the most part buy this stupidity.

This anti-science attitude helps explain why so many dismiss evolutionary science. Have I mentioned my idea that anyone admitting they don’t accept the theory of evolution should be exempted from its benefits? Yeah, stupid shit like vaccinations and life saving treatments against horrible diseases should not be wasted on these knuckle-dragging barbarians. We all would be better off without them. Oh, if you need to slap your goober brother-in-law or cousin from the South with some facts on AGW, check this site for easily digested responses to some of the stupidest claims from climate change deniers ( click here). It won’t change their minds (apparently, conservatives are less evolved), but at least you can enjoy the perverse pleasure of seeing the confused looks on their faces as cognitive dissonance settles in.

Next on my list is the mostly conservative (mostly feigned) moral condemnation of Michael Vick. Let me just note that just recently a police officer received less time than Vick for shooting (and killing) a defenseless, prone black man. Let us also conveniently forget there is a current (white) quarterback who is, at the very least, a serial sexual harasser, and most likely a sexual predator, who is playing in the NFL with nary a yelp from the wingnuts. For the record, I abhor cruelty and inhumanity of all kinds and what Michael Vick did was reprehensible. However, he paid for his crimes and has tried to make amends for his past actions by becoming a spokesperson against animal cruelty and has used his talents to become an honest, tax paying, working citizen. Conservatives feel that people don’t deserve redemption. This focus on retribution, a core conservative value, is in large part responsible for the fact that the U.S. incarcerates more people than any other nation in the world. In fact, U.S. incarceration rates, measured as a percentage of the population is unprecedented in human history. It is alos a fact that the vasty majority of those behind bars are men of color.

Luckily for Mr. Vick, he has a highly valued set of skills that demands a high salary from the very corporate types kneepad conservatives idolize, so he has an opportunity to pick up the pieces of his life. Shit, even PETA is saying to leave the motherfucker alone. I say that if your sins were writ on your forehead (as it is for people who have been incarcerated), you would be wearing your hat pretty low. Of course, there’s a double standard. If you’re a white collar criminal or conservative politician, no crime is too great not to deserve redemption. But may the full force of hell come down upon you if you’re black.

And speaking of quacks, allow me to leave with the following (true) story. I won’t name names here folks, but some of you might know…

Some time ago, a recently incarcerated man was going through “orientation” at a New York State prison. Orientation, from a penal perspective, resembles a brainwashing experience: your head is shaved, you are deloused, you are humiliated, your name is taken away and you’re given a number instead. You’re instructed that that number is now your name and must respond when it is called out. You’re also given a series of measures in order to gauge your academic attainment and personality.

As part of the psychological profiling, this individual was called into a psychiatrist’s office for an examination. As part of the process, the following exchange took place:

Psychiatrist: What would you do if you were to suddenly discover that a lion was in your cell?

Inmate: Well, I would reach for my gun under my pillow and shoot the lion!

Psychiatrist: (somewhat taken aback) Where would you get such a gun?

Inmate: From the same place you got the lion, you stupid bitch!

Of course, the man in question was beaten by the guards and immediately diagnosed as suffering from an anti-social personality disorder. The psychiatrist, on the other hand, is probably still “practicing.”

Love,

Eddie

P.S. After about 18 months, I finally took a vacation. So, I’m not too concerned with posting and especially to responding to conservatives’ fallacious arguments. Here’s wishing everyone a happy new year!