Drink the Piss, Son: A Bully’s Golden Comeuppance

¡Hola! I’ve been very busy with work lately and my back is acting up again, making writing painful — hence my absence and sparse writing. On the professional front, the good news is that I’ve been able to save my project (in the short term). The following from one of my contacts (h/t Joe.My.God.) is too rich not to share:

From today’s Ask Reddit, which queries the Reddit community on legal issues.
Question: A relative of a close friend helped a school bully drink piss, and now the family is suing. Is he liable?

Background: Relative of a close friend (we’ll call him Todd) carried Mountain Dew in his backpack to school every day. For a few weeks, this bully (“Brian”) would go in his bag, say fuck you, and drink the Mountain Dew. Fed up with this and being a cunning lad, last Tuesday Todd drinks the Mountain Dew before class, and pisses in the bottle. Brian drank the piss, shat brix, and Todd emerged the victor that day. Now, Brian’s family is threatening to sue, claiming Todd endangered Brian’s health. Todd’s family is apparently shitting and scrambling to collect character references for Todd from teachers, letters from doctors saying urine isn’t harmful, and generally thinking their son is a psycho. I applaud Todd and think that he should walk into court holding a bottle of piss, it’s freedom of expression, some people like piss filled bottles, but IANAL.

Edit: The school became aware of the incident when it happened. I believe Todd was suspended for a short period of time. The principal is actually instructing Brian’s parents to press charges because the school doesn’t want to get further involved.Now, setting aside the fact that Brian is a fuckin thief and his parents should be liable for raising an asshole, I have to ask how Todd should be liable? I mean, shouldn’t the fact that Brian had to violate someone’s private property before he drank the piss play into this issue somehow? For example, what if I’m on way to the doctor’s with a urine sample and bully reaches into my bag and drinks the urine sample? I’m not a lawyer, so perhaps my point is moot, technically speaking, but still.. Go Todd! LOL