The past few days have been interesting in this late April of 2016. On Thursday, the world was rocked by the death of Prince. On Friday, Birdman proved just how much respeck he should have put on his name on The Breakfast Club. On Saturday, Beyoncé made lemons into Lemonade to throw heavy industry shade. All of these events led to a surprise/unsurprising situation this Sunday.

That surprisingly unsurprising situation that I speak of is the fact that Lil Kim is now officially Caucasian. That’s right, folks. Black Girls may Rock, but Lil Kim would rather play for the White Sox.

Lil Kim’s Apparent Unhappiness

Honestly, the entire situation is sickening. Lil Kim hasn’t liked Lil Kim for the past few decades (at least). Once she started getting money, she started going under the scalpel. First, it was the fake boobs. Then it was the Michael Jackson nose. After that, it was the reconstruction of her face. And now it seems she has put even more work on her face and used skin bleaching. What is sickening is that Lil Kim hasn’t found the true self love that she actually yearns for.

There is a lot of blame to be passed around. We can blame the men that never thought she was “pretty enough”. We can blame her dad for infusing the self-doubt about her looks. We can even blame her for actually not seeking the help she needed for her battered self-concept. There are plenty of people that contributed to this gumbo of low self esteem. Yet, figuring out who the blame isn’t the bigger issue.

Lil Kim: The Bigger Issue(s)

The bigger issue, for me, is how long all of this went on without enough support for her to seek help. Was anyone in her ear to let her know that she didn’t need to do all of this? I already know she has a gang of “yes men” on her team. But where in the hell were the “hell to the naw people” that all humans require in their lives? Where was her center of gravity in physical form? Where were the people to keep her in check?

And I could get into the colorism issues that plague Black people worldwide, but I won’t. I don’t need to rehash the issues that has Jamaican women and men bleaching their skin until they look like Larenz Tate inDead Presidents. I have already talked about the madness being promoted over in Africa. And people should already assume that there are health issues with the demelaninization (made up word) of one’s skin. I’m not discussion the harmful effects of colorism because we are witnessing just how bad it gets with Lil Kim.

Lil Kim the Living Travesty

All I can feel for her is sadness. With surgery after surgery and reconstruction after reconstruction, I don’t see happiness. One can’t be happy doing all of this. Lil Kim is a broken soul. Yet, the saddest part of it all is that she spent all of her money dealing with the wrong doctor to patch things up with herself.

The post Lil Kim is Officially A White Girl appeared first on Madness & Reality.

You know the idealism: that women, no matter what rank or association they claim, owe men “something”. And that “something” could be sex, attention, a phone number, or anything of said value to the male species.

Yet, there are two particular situations that stood out in recent history with head shaking results.

One of these situations dealt with the tried and true overly-masculine response to rejection:

Janese Talton-Jackson, 29, of Penn Hills, Pa., located just outside Pittsburgh, was leaving the bar around 1:50 a.m. when the suspect followed her to her car, where she was shot, Pittsburgh police said. ShotSpotter, a gunshot-location system, notified police that shots had been fired in the area. When police arrived, they stopped Charles McKinney, 41, also of Penn Hills, on a traffic violation.

Police were talking with McKinney when it was radioed that a woman had been fatally shot. McKinney heard the dispatch and sped off. [1]

And then, there was the situation where a woman is always asked (by a male) to “smile” as if being a woman means they are to flash gratitude at the male’s request. Still, I found an article written by Damon Young that completely understands my disdain for the act:

After hearing Nicki tell me the details of her awful week, watching her take a phone call that somehow made things even worse, and seeing her wait for a bus, clearly upset, it angered me knowing there was a good chance some guy would notice this beautiful woman—depressed for various reasons—and politely (but insistently) demand that she put a smile on her face. Despite the fact that he’d had absolutely no idea why she was down—for all he knew, she could have just found out a family member died (which she did, btw)—he might even pepper his request with an annoyingly familiar “Come on, sis. Things can’t be that bad.” Basically, since they obviously can’t or don’t experience the range of emotions that any other human (well, any other man) can and do experience, they should be able to smile on demand. [2]

And just like that, there will always be that juxtaposition of a man asking/demanding something that a female doesn’t owe them in the first place.

Women Owe Men Nothing

We can all be remiss from the outlandish foolishness just to realize that men making demands of women that owe them nothing is both annoying, disrespectful, and demeaning. Women aren’t here to adjust their bra straps to the whim of every human being that just so happens to have a penis. They aren’t here to play up to the idealism of the worthy, courteous female. They aren’t here for our entertainment. They aren’t our puppets. They aren’t our toys. They are not our play things. So, miss me with the condescending objectification.

And anyone (men) out there that feels that “wouldn’t it be easier to be nice and give in to the man’s demands” is full of shit themselves. No, it isn’t easier to give in to a man’s demands. No, she doesn’t owe you a phone number. No, she shouldn’t have to talk to you. No, she doesn’t want to smile for you. And you know what: she doesn’t owe you (men) a God damn thing.

The Misogyny Epilogue

Let’s be clear here: women have a right to live, function, and express themselves without the male repression of objectivity. These women have every right to talk to, as to NOT talk to, men. And that is their choice to make. Expecting women to comply with a male’s requests/demands is not endearing. It is called obsessive control. It is called misogyny.

So, let the women be in control of their lives and bodies, you assholes.

The post Old School Misogyny: Women Owe Men Nothing appeared first on Madness & Reality.

Like many conservatives, Carson feeds into the stereotype of single mothers as being a great evil of society.  A product of a single parent household, and having relied upon government assistance, Carson fails to acknowledge the various structural and economic inequities which create dire situations for some single mothers and their families.  As single households with only one wage earner, we are disproportionately impacted by low-wage jobs, poor healthcare benefits, exorbitant child care cost, and lack of access to sick leave.  Without the needed protections, particularly ratification of the Equal Protection Act, single mothers are at a constant disadvantage.

Even commentary about people being poor and criminals fails to acknowledge the fact that class, race, and family status play a big part in the arrest and subsequent sentencing. Many people in jail currently are in jail for non-violent drug offenses. How many accounts have we heard of the person with the small amount of x drug who is in jail for life? Not saying that drug possession or sale is ok, but there should be proportionality in enforcement, prosecution, and sentencing. And we all know there is not.  Just because a greater proportion of people are in jail, does not mean they are inherently more “evil” or guilty of committing the crime than others.  There are numerous reports and studies indicating that certain people are sentenced stiffer, and less likely to be offered probation and participation in divisionary programs etc.

Many people tell me I’m an exception, that I’m not the rule. Well, I always respond that you are the company you keep. Despite where I have lived and who I have been around, I have always tried to be the best version of myself. I have sought out people with a similar work ethic and passion for family.  There are more of us around than you think.  Maybe you don’t see more strong examples of single motherhood because you choose to only see the negative or you associate in a certain grouping of people.  Maybe it is time to upgrade your associations.  Anyone can find anything negative if they look for it.   Over the past 15 years, I have met many women, young and old, who have overcome ridiculous odds to be where they are and have remarkable stories to tell and beautiful children to show for it all. From the block to the hollers, women struggle every day to do the best they can with what they have. No, I cannot accept that I am an exception. I’ve seen the face of single motherhood and it is not the “ghetto welfare queen” alluded to so often on TV.  As a member of the access program, I was one of dozens of women at The Ohio State University committed to raising my children in a positive and productive manner while completing my degree. Outside of my academic life I met women of all incomes and walks of life. The majority were 100% about their kids.  Once upon a time we had a greater focus on community and social supports.  However, the erosion of the working and middle class has plunged many of our families into stressful situations.  Things happen even to the best of people. And yes I’m sure you who may read this can think of x, y, z example of people doing poorly. But guess what none of us are perfect, but only some of us are scrutinized under the public moral microscope.

My personal passion, drive and fear of failure helped me move from a scared 19-year-old afraid of losing her scholarship pregnant with her first child, to a practicing attorney.  The lingering shame I felt, the family golden child, pregnant and unmarried was unbearable in the beginning. Through my friendships with other women, I began to understand that it mattered how I viewed myself and the path I chose for my children and myself.  I am all for personal accountability and holding others accountable. But I believe that should be even-handed and across the board.  When people like Ben Carson spew their vicious crap, it makes me sick. Yet it gives me something to write about and provide you with insight into another way of doing things. Instead of attacking single mothers and their families, political leaders should be offering solutions and developing opportunities for change.  We are only as strong as our most vulnerable families and communities.

As I sit here writing, I think about my son who wants to become a doctor and my daughter who has so many different ideas she cannot narrow it all down (leaning toward developer or engineer).  Anything is possible. We may have more to overcome than others, and a different timeline, but DO NOT let anyone tell you who you are and what you are worth.  People like Ben Carson remind me that I am stronger than most and able to overcome otherwise insurmountable obstacles.

We have to stop allowing ourselves to be put into the stereotypes and vile characterizations of others. We are strength. We are excellence. And we have birthed, raised, and nurtured two presidents among many other wonderful people in the past 25 years. Let that sink in.

[Originally posted at Mama Justice]

The post Single Mothers and the BS of Not all Families are Equal appeared first on Madness & Reality.

What many may not understand is that Maya Angelou was more than a poem.

Maya Angelou and Who She Really Was

Maya Angelou, as many of my African American queens, was as complicated as they come. The same woman that wrote one of the most presidential inauguration poems of our time also was a 17 year old unwed mother before. The same woman that taught American Studies at Wake Forest also ran a brothel and was a stripper in her early years. The same woman that found spiritual and monetary riches also grew up dirt poor. In turn, Maya Angelou became a singing caged bird that found a way to fly free.

If you think about her previous circumstances and what she overcame, you would understand what made her wonderful. Statistically, she was not supposed to do what she did. Statistically, she was supposed to be one of life’s failures. Statistically, she was supposed to be a statistic. Yet, she knew that mathematic measures had no bearing on the measures of the mind (and soul).

Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, that was she.

Maya Angelou and What She Really Represented

Maya Angelou was the epitome of womanhood. Maya Angelou was a feminist before people started coining the term. She worked tirelessly to speak for the unspoken, do for the broken, and represent the down-trodden. “I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings” was more than an autobiographical novel: it was a beautiful melody of liberty displayed in book form. Many successful women were not wrong in working closely with Angelou, either. Maya Angelou was the woman many women worked to be.

Maya Angelou was also the full representation of what Black Hope is supposed to represent. Long before Obama noted that we can have hope, Maya Angelou demonstrated how hope should look. Before Oprah became synonymous with business success, she found herself under Maya’s guidance. Before people read the tomes of Toni Morrison, Toniherself was being inspired by Angelou. Conclusively, Maya Angelou always served as an inspiration to greatness.

Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, that was she.

Maya Angelou was Black America

In short, Maya Angelou was Black America. She represented how one should conduct themselves with style and grace. She also represents the fact that, no matter where you come from, where you are going is most important. She was the liege and motivation of so many important people out there. Thus, it would behoove all of us to honor a woman that lived her life for the sake of others.

Maya Angelou, your rest is going to be peaceful. You did your job. Now it is time for us to do ours.

Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, that was she.

The post Maya Angelou: Phenomenal Woman of Humanity appeared first on Madness & Reality.

As women continue to defy gender biases, attention has increasingly focused on how women are handling the success associated with hard-won positions of leadership. In some cases, women in positions of power have been characterized negatively. “Bitch,” “queen bee,” “bully in a pant suit,” and “ball buster” are just a few of the derogatory names often associated with women who use their power and position to oppress others. As often as not, other women are on the receiving end of this dominating behavior.

Often called same-sex gender bias, this behavior toward female colleagues by women in positions of power has fostered criticism at the same time that similar actions by male leaders are applauded and even honored. Men who are hyper-competitive, even to the point of employing cut-throat, back stabbing tactics, may often be perceived as “bold,” “assertive,” and “gutsy,” while women who do the same things frequently receive the more negative labels referenced earlier.

In her 2013 article, The Tyranny of the Queen Bee, organizational psychologist Peggy Drexler describes the queen bee in much the same terms as high school “mean girls” who engage in psychological terror. “Far from nurturing the growth of younger female talent, they push aside possible competitors by chipping away at their self-confidence or undermining their professional standing. It is a trend thick with irony: The very women who have complained for decades about unequal treatment now perpetuate many of the same problems by turning on their own…” (Drexler 2013). Are queen bees, in fact, same-sex bullies?

Some have suggested that even though women are shattering glass ceilings, they are doing so in a man’s world. As a result, they are forced to behave like men. Is it naïve to assert that the whole purpose of women shattering glass ceilings is to show that women can be effective in any setting while simultaneously being 100 percent woman? In the classic musical My Fair Lady, Professor Higgins sings about his frustration that women can’t be more like men. But why should any woman have to behave like a man?

During my career, I have personally felt the sting of such a queen bee, causing me to reflect on the many stories I’ve heard in the context of my own personal experience. All too often, when the queen bee is not actively undermining her employees or putting them down publicly, she’s having fits of rage—shouting and dictating rather than collaborating.

I clearly remember one planning meeting when our team, led by a queen bee executive, met with a potential vendor during a business lunch outside of the office. We were discussing a planned transition when it dawned on me that the vendor was not properly vetted. This caused several people on our team to probe further. Out of nowhere, the leader screamed out my name and told me to be quiet. The screech was so loud that the waiter who was refilling our glasses at the table paused, and sudden silence filled the room—you could have heard a pin drop. The leader then asserted that this transition had to happen; it was “her neck and her license”—and at the end of the day, her decision.

I was totally shocked at such behavior in a public place, especially in front of potential vendors and colleagues. Even as I write this, I can feel my blood boiling all over again. I have never been so embarrassed in public by anyone—male or female.

After the meeting, the queen bee executive summoned me to her office and asked why I could not talk to her about my concerns. She characterized this as “managing up” and reminded me that I often told employees to practice the art of managing up as a way to help resolve issues with their superiors. I replied that it appeared to me that there was no managing her, since she rarely listened to anything of value presented by her subordinates. She then proceeded to tell me that I needed to take male enhancement drugs in order to gain better control of my emotions, since I had showed emotion at the lunch meeting. I wondered how much of her comment involved projection of her outburst onto me. I decided that if this “queen bee” were taking the male enhancement drugs she recommended, apparently they were not effective.

While my experience may represent an isolated incident, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute, “Many women are afraid to confront their bullying bosses and suffer in silence. They should not have to risk clinical depression or debilitating anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder as experienced by 30 percent of women. You shouldn’t have a war wound in the workplace…” (Namie 2009).

This issue raises several related questions: Are “queen bees” receiving the support they need, such as mentoring and coaching to help them successfully navigate the challenges presented by their positions? Are there enough women mentors in leadership positions to support emerging female leaders and perhaps prevent them from becoming queen bee types? Are women in leadership somehow conditioned to believe that they must “behave like men” by being hyper-competitive, insensitive, aggressive, or even by taking male enhancement drugs to make them less feminine? What about Hollywood’s role in glamorizing “queen bees”? In 2006, The Devil Wears Pradagenerated discussion and even sparked some controversy about the way the character Miranda Priestly, played by actress Meryl Streep, was portrayed. Whether it was a case of life imitating art or vice versa, many felt the movie glamorized female bullies while downplaying some of the real issues faced by women in positions of influence: balancing and integrating work and family, and how working outside the home can strain both work relationships as well as relationships with loved ones.

As I witness incidents and hear others relate situations like the one described above, I am disappointed to know that some women, especially those in positions of power, are not effectively using their platforms to help advance, reach, teach, and mentor other women. Women still face numerous challenges while climbing the corporate ladder in their quest to shatter glass ceilings in corporate America: equal pay, childcare, work-life balance, and lack of mentoring opportunities to name a few. Sexism and other -isms persist as barriers to women in corporate America. Women, especially those in leadership positions, should be using their platforms to help other women in their quest to overcome and tear down the obstacles and barriers still barring women from equal opportunities in business and industry. Intimidation and oppression of women should be stamped out—and it certainly should not occur at the hands of other women.

– Dawn Nicole Martin

The post Workplace Politics: Why Do Queen Bee Executives Sting? appeared first on Madness & Reality.

I know you’re probably busy. So’m I’m just going to cut straight to the chase.

I too have heard about the recent alleged erratic and violent behavior of former Scandal actor Columbus Short. It is indeed a saddening and disappointing revelation of a promising actor on a popular drama. As you may know, there are very few positive images of black people in the media. Hopefully, the series story writers will find another positive black male character played by a positive black male actor. And I hope Short gets some kind of help.

But I digress. The main reason for this letter is to respectfully express my dismay over the misogynistic comments you made concerning Short’s wife Tanee McCall during your radio show. I caught wind of this at XOJane:

“I think that broad shouldn’t be telling all his business if she gone take him to court…This bitch was thirsty. The bitch was thirsty. What, she gone go back to dancing? She gone fuck her money up?…“When you’re very young, you’re very volatile. I’ve been in situations where the police were called. I don’t believe that every time someone says something in the heat of anger, they actually mean it. Everybody want a thug dude, a passionate dude, until you gotta live with your mother in an undisclosed location. You know what kind of dude you picked. Stop it.”

During your banter, a female co-host, Jasmine Sanders, wanted to bring some realness into the conversation, but it is reported that tried to silence her and play the victim. You even tried to shift blame back to the woman by using the “everybody want a thug” derailment. And when Sanders tried to tell you how that’s not the case, you called her dumb!

After reading that, and more, I got offended and embarrassed. But most of all, I got upset. Even though you apologized, I still feel the need to say something as a black man who witnessed domestic violence in my own neck of the woods.

Watching a woman in danger at the hands of her husband, boyfriend or even a family member, friend or total stranger first hand is not a laughing matter. It’s as painful to watch as it is for her to suffer. I will not portray myself as a knight in shining armor, but I have stepped in and defended the women who were victimized, even at risk to my own safety.

Mr. Hughley, it has been noted that you called black women “the angriest women on Earth”:

“I’ve never met an angrier group of people. Like black women are angry just in general. Angry all the time. My assessment, out of, just in my judgment, you either are in charge or they’re in charge, so there’s no kind of day that you get to rest…”

What I don’t understand is how can you make such a statement when you are married to a black woman and have two daughters and a son. Yet, you want to defend a man who allegedly abused his wife to the point where he threatened to kill her and himself? Though, one shouldn’t be too surprised hearing such statements from someone who defended Don Imus’ “nappy headed hos” comment several years back. (I’m sorry. I had to go there.)

Mr. Hughley, I’m doing my best to keep my anger in check, but it’s incredibly difficult seeing a black man who practically placed black women on the chopping block due to his anti-female animosity. Words can not express the depth of shame I have for your comments and overall sexist and misogynistic mindframe, the same mindframe too many black men have that are synonymous with that of racist white folks.

Black men are drowning in a pool of privileges he have because of our genitalia, and we use it against the women who have stuck by us since day one. Too many of us see black women as the enemy while at the same time, we see the oppressor, especially his women, as our friends and saviors. And what’s worse, there are black women and children who have adapted such thinking.

Let me ask you this; if black women are indeed the angriest on Earth, why do you think that is? Could the that the world is practically against their right to exist as human beings and that members of their own community have allied with the world’s hatred of them? Could it be that for so long they’ve stuck by us, and we turn a blind eye to their problems, especially if their problems are black men who beat, rape and kill black women, and we’re too cowardly to confront this bullshit because we don’t like to have our dirty laundry aired and our images tarnished? Could it be that too many of us use them as sex objects showing off our prowess of being playas, but will run like cowards when a life is created and seek another to repeat the cycle? Could it be that some of us choose white women over them because we think they’re, in so many words, better than black women because we’re too fragile to stay strong with black women who are in the same damn boat as we are, and have loved us and been there with us in our struggles?

I think it’s time we, as black men, stepped up. And I think it’s time black folks, including those in the entertainment and sports industries, start addressing the problem. And Mr. Hughley, if you are reading this, I hope that you will be the one to get things started. I know we all make mistakes, but the point of making them is to learn from them. Our sistas are crying out for love and respect from our brothas. What harm could it do to listen?

If we, as a people, are to survive and empower ourselves, we must cure our illnesses.

Sincerely,

Bro. James Wolf.

The post Open Letter To D.L. Hughley (From a Black Man) appeared first on Madness & Reality.

This from CBS 5:

SCOTTSDALE, AZ – It’s unclear if an Arizona mom got the job she was interviewing for, but after a witness found her children, ages 2 years and 6 months in a hot car outside, she now faces child abuse charges.

 

Scottsdale police said a witness heard a crying child inside a Dodge Durango parked in an office complex parking lot at 9700 N. 91st St. in Scottsdale about 12:30 p.m. Thursday. The woman reported to police the two young children were inside the vehicle parked directly in the sun, with the engine off, the doors closed and each of the four windows were just slightly open.

 

The mother, Shanesha Taylor, 35, returned to the vehicle about 45 minutes later and told the officer she had just finished a job interview and did not have anyone to watch her children.

 

“She was upset. This is a sad situation all around. She said she was homeless. She needed the job. Obviously not getting the job. So it’s just a sad situation,” said Scottsdale Police Sergeant Mark Clark.

 

She was arrested and booked into jail for child abuse.

This is a tough and very sad situation indeed. I mean, what was she supposed to do? Of course I can hear many of you saying that what she did was irresponsible. But, again, what was she supposed to do? The easy answer would be to take the children along with her on the job interview. But, in a society that hardly gives comfort to working mothers, do you really think that any mother at a job interview with a6-month-old and a 2-year-old would be accommodated or even welcomed?

Watch the video below:

This from Green Doors:

• Homeless families comprise roughly 34% of the total U.S. homeless population
• Approximately 1.6 million children will experience homelessness over the course of a year. In any given day, researchers estimate that more than 200,000 children have no place to live
• People counted in the single adult homeless population (about 2.3-3.5 million annually) are also part of families:
  • Among all homeless women, 60% have children under age 18, but only 65% of them live with at least one of their children
  • Among all homeless men, 41% have children under age 18, but only 7% live with at least one of their children

Who are homeless families?

The typical sheltered homeless family is comprised of a mother in her late twenties with two children.

• 84% of families experiencing homelessness are female-headed. This is due to a number of factors:
  • Most single-parent families are female-headed (71%). Single-parent families are among the poorest in the nation and as such, are extremely vulnerable to homelessness
  • Many family shelters do not accept men into their programs, causing families to separate when they become homeless
• Families of color are overrepresented in the homeless population. Nationally:
  • 43% are African-American
  • 15% are Hispanic
  • 38% are White, non Hispanic
  • 3% are Native American
• Families experiencing homelessness usually have limited education:
  • 53% of homeless mothers do not have a high school diploma
• 29% of adults in homeless families are working
• 42% of children in homeless families are under age six

The post Homeless Mother Arrested for Leaving Kids in Car During Job Interview appeared first on Madness & Reality.

Limbaugh went on his radio show to criticize the menu the Obamas served at a dinner for French President Francois He managed to make the whole shindig all about the President’s concerns about income equality, or rather how it somehow negated any argument that there is such a thing.

Then, he turned his attention to Michelle Obama’s rear end. Daily Kos’ ProgLegs reports:

You’ll notice that this dress is bigger than the president of France.  Here, let me make one more adjustment here and I’ll show you this again.  Take a look at that picture.  The little guy in the middle is the socialist dictator — well, not dictator.  He’s the socialist president of France.  On the left, that’s not Oprah. Don’t confuse that.  That’s Michelle Obama.  I saw a picture of this from the rear.  That’s why I thought it was Oprah.

Limbaugh blurting out that he thought Mrs. Obama was Oprah from the back is par for the course. I guess black women all look alike from behind. Still, this sounds oddly familiar. There was another conservative who commented on Michelle Obama’s weight. He too focused on the size of her butt more than anything else.

Republican congressman James Sensenbrenner was at a church event less than three years ago. He mentioned that Mrs. Obama has no reason to lead a campaign against obesity. Why? Because he says she’s got a big butt.

Let me be upfront with everyone. I love curvy women. I adore thinkness. I like big butts, and I can not lie. And I think so does Limbaugh and Sensenbrenner, secretly. I think both of them really want to bury their faces in that ass and eat it like a chocolate cake. But them being stanch conservatives, admitting that would destroy their pride faster than attending an interracial gay wedding. Not to mention that if they tried anything, they would face serious repercussions from a certain world leader they despise more than liberals themselves.

Also, who are we kiddin’ here. Limbaugh and Sensenbrenner have no room to talk about weight, literally. When was the last time those two looked in the mirror? When was the last time they ever touched their toes, let alone saw them? And have either of them done anything without sweating?

I’m not into fat shaming, but people like Limbaugh have no shame. He and his conservative clique hate 99 percent of America, especially if they’re not white, male, straight, rich and/or Christian. Limbaugh makes his money picking and choosing things to hate and fear and uses his media platform to spread hate and fear. When dealing with him, you are dealing with a man with a J. Edgar Hoover complex and a 1950’s sitcom view of the world.

Michelle Obama is a beautiful First Lady. Yet, resentful conservatives use her curvaceous figure to humiliate her in their campaign to demonize her husband. This is nothing new though. Some white people seem to categorize curvy black women as “heavy set” or “fat”. Hell, some white people actually believe that most black women are typically large. Even though it’s a stereotype, they believe that before actually seeing real black women in different sizes.

Yes, obesity is a problem in America. Michelle Obama is actively doing something about it. Maybe Limbaugh and Sensenbrenner should worry about their own bodies before they throw their weight around.

The post Rush Limbaugh, James Sensenbrenner, & Michelle Obama’s Booty appeared first on Madness & Reality.

The failure that Jamie Kapp had to deal with dwelled within the realm of “lack of intellect” and “lack of integrity”.

Jamie is a young lady that illustrated a profound piece dealing with her own understanding of white privilege. She tried to make it as open, well read, and honest as possible. She even included statistics to assist in what she was talking about. Still, there were plenty of detractors. While she tried really hard to be objective about the situation, many people didn’t take too well to what she was saying.

So much so that she had to virtually leave the internet because she was receiving death threats and hate mail, causing her to shut down her social media communication.

Yeah, I said it: a simple, opinionated Buzzfeed/Tumblr post made enough waves that she received hate mail and death threats.

Is this the poppycock, bullshit type of society that we actually live in?

After reading about this situation, there are five things that I took away from it all:

1.)    The internet is still the mask for the “keyboard coward”: We all know the type of person that I am referring to. They will make as many obscene gestures on the internet as possible. They will send the hate mail. They will send the death threats. They will everything to be nasty, disrespectful, and condescending to another person just because they (the aggressor) DON’T AGREE with their opposition.

How pathetic is that?

2.)        Some White people still aren’t ready to have a mature discussion about race: I know that the previous statement has become the beaten dead horse. Personally, it has gotten to the point where many Black people wear the horse leather for reminder. Yet, the only reason why this happens is that so many of the Caucasian persuasion persist on passing the buck when it comes to situations they don’t want any responsibility/participation in. Instead of an honest dialogue (whether it be profound or confounded), we have to deal with denial and disillusionment.

Yet, so many White people wonder why some Black people have become sickened by these situations.

3.)    The cartoon was refreshing because it was, more than anything, honest: What you witnessed within the cartoon was a young lady that bore her soul and drew some conclusions about herself and society. Whether she spelled receive correctly or even used correct statistics isn’t the biggest draw. The biggest draw is that someone actually poked their head out in the line of fire. As much as people want to take away from her message, Jamie’s uprightness will always be the lone star in a starless solar system filled with Caucasian refutation.

4.)    It is time of us to have an honest dialogue about race, racism, and the systematic structures that exist in our society: The biggest problem is that we, as Americans, suck at having honest, progressive dialogue. We are the masters of finger-pointing and scoffing responsibility. However, if you asked that same finger pointer about their responsibility, there is a change that they will flat out deny it. Some even place the blame on someone else or deflect the situation into irrelevant waters.

5.)    Racism will never end in this country if people keep denying the obvious: Many of the issues deal with simple acknowledgment of the truth for what it is. However, too many people either want to escape that truth or act like it doesn’t matter. Many different cultures have hardcore beliefs in self-perseverance and hard work. This is fine. Conversely, some people have had helping hands and systems that keep them afloat.

I would like to honor Jamie Kapp for having the simple bravery to take on the scrutiny. It takes a truly valiant person to look within oneself and see where thing went wrong.

I applaud you.

Oh, and if anybody has any death threats, hate mail, or anything like to send to me you can go right ahead. I’m fromGary, Indiana. I don’t scare easy.

You have been warned.

[Originally posted at Chocolate Covered Lies]

The post 5 Things to Learn From the Bullying of Jamie Kapp appeared first on Madness & Reality.

However, as much as we fight the powers and privileges-that-be, sometimes I wonder about the internalized oppression-type brainwash that’s constantly inflicted on us day in and day out that’s expressed in harmful, destructive ways, especially when it crosses gender lines.

I came across an article on Black Youth Project written by Charlene Carruthers responding to a Huffpost video about “hoodsites” like – you know – WorldStarHipHop, a website powered on black pathology. She writes how the conversation purposely leaves out gender-based violence:

“I first learned about the segment’s fallout on Twitter and initially dismissed it as the typical “this is a race issue, not a gender issue” argument. After watching the full video, I felt anguish and anger at the conflict and where the conversation ended.

The tension seemed to first emerge after Dr. Cooper introduced the idea that “there is a gender dynamic to this conversation too.” After laying out supporting points to her argument Rhymefest interjected with “Why you so mad?” I was immediately triggered. His remarks echo the “Angry Black Woman” trope often carted out to silence and pathologize Black women. Che “Rhymefest” Smith, seemingly supported by Dr. Lee, laid out arguments that are both problematic and parallel to the messages, practices, policies and strategies which continue to fail to end violence in our communities.

I’m admittedly used to being around and having conversations with dope men who get it. I work with an number of young Black men everyday who understand the value and importance of centering an analysis of gender in all discussions about violence. However, the comfort I feel with them doesn’t serve the broader need to discuss misogyny in Black politics and social justice work…”

Let’s not front here. We live in a society that doesn’t care about women or girls nearly as much as it does for men and boys. And that same mindset exists in African American communities. Racism is, without a doubt- a major problem, but so is sexism and misogyny. We really can not fight racism without being asking who are we fighting for? Are we fighting for black people which include black females and black LGBT members, or are we fighting for black people which usually implies black males first and foremost?

Ya’ll, we really need to ask ourselves tough questions and take a deeper look at what’s going on,, and what and why it’s going on. Of course, there has been activist work on behalf of black men. But since when are black women excluded from the cause? And if and when there is such work, and there is, why is it a bad thing to some of us?

I think part of the reason is that many of us are afraid that addressing gender violence in our communities will lead to negative stereotypes about black men. But when you think about it, it seems more like a concern for image than reality. It sends a morbid message that the protection of the image of black men is more important than saving and supporting black women. And it also says that black women’s issues are no big thing.

I’m not gonna deny the truth that racism against blacks is still kicking. Of course it is. Still, we need to address violence against black women when doing any kind of work that address violence against and among black people. In other words, we need to be real about our own internalized oppressions which include, but are not limited to, sexism. We can not truly be free, unless ALL OF US are free. Period.

The post Fighting Racism, but Being Silent About Gender-based Violence appeared first on Madness & Reality.