Let’s clear up a few things: I have never given any man the opportunity to “run my credit up” and I have met plenty of non-Black men with a, shall we say, “plentiful member” as well as some Black men who don’t quite size up to the myths that chase their identities. All this to say, it is quite interesting to watch how gay interracial sexual politics have been constructed within our communities and how we allow heterosexual taboo to steer our desires and understandings of self/others.

This is not only the reality I have seen surface in certain queer spaces but also the socially imposed stereotype that has followed the taboo that is interracial dating. While I’d like to speak generally and say men who date outside their race, I’ve noticed the myth of the “BBC” seems to predominantly affect Black men (and perhaps some Latino and other “ethnic” men).

Black men are seemingly only given visibility or acknowledgment in gay culture when they are evermore hypersexualized. By that I mean, society has already assigned an overtly sexual identity to both Black men and gay men. Black gay men have the potential to carry the brunt doubly. It also appears that when a gay boy (sorry, boi?) is going through a dry spell or has some preconceived notion of what lies in the Black man’s pants, he is more than willing to use him to explore his little experiment in whether or not he “likes chocolate.” Some Black men glory in the revelation that everyone seems to think their dick is huge. In a culture where sexual voyeurism is normalized, the nuances of socio-sexual taboos must be examined. Why are these normalized sexual roles being placed upon Black gay male bodies and how have some men become complacent in these roles?

The “mandingo” is a racial stereotype that has followed Black men throughout the century. He is sexually subservient and plagued by negative sexual imagery. Keep in mind his servitude is not determined solely through submission. He can be sexually subservient through acting aggressively to penetrate and enact a “rape scene” that appeals to his partners racialized desires. Or he can be sexually submissive and be dominated by the penetrator. Either way, his sexual subservience is anticipated.

The “mandingo” does not only live in the minds of the external. Some Black gay men have internalized this mindset so much so that their sexuality is consumed by the myths that precede them–myths about their member, their (hyper)sexuality, their sexual preferences (and why has the “n-word” found its way into interracial sexual exchanges?). It becomes detrimental when a person’s entire being is consumed by their sexuality and nothing more, suggesting a person is merely a body. It is reductive and ignores the complexities of what makes the individual whole. When a person only finds value in their existence through sexual realms, it ignores and denies all of the other valuable attributes of their personhood.

While I recognize this is going to be an unpopular argument precisely for the fact that no community likes their dirty laundry aired out, I’ve watched as these issues plague our communities. Using people on the basis of sex without at least offering them the dignity or respect of acknowledging their humanity (or remembering their name) is a disease we are suffering from–alluding to the fact that you’ll fuck a Black guy, you just won’t take him to meet your family or friends. This is not a criticism of casual sex; instead, it is the methods of how these actions are carried out that is the problem. There was a time when being caught in interracial sexual acts would have gotten you killed. How much better have things gotten if it is now our souls that are dying, our relationships with one another? Violence is often discussed in its physical manifestations but rarely addressed in terms of the spiritual brutality many of us face.

We’ve internalized a “Birth of a Nation” mentality whereby all Black men are depicted as sexual predators here to dominate and penetrate the Anglo. Don’t believe me? Check any porn site or the articles being written about it. As a matter of fact, google “gay interracial” and see if you can find anything that isn’t sexual in nature. Let’s be real: porn is very much a part of our culture. I have plenty of friends who can name tons of porn “actors”. So we watch as Black men dominate, aggressively penetrate, and gang rape some “poor innocent white boy” and I’m supposed to believe that’s not playing a role in the way we interact cross-culturally? HA!

There is also the fact we’ve created a culture where narcissism runs rampant–thinking everyone wants your goodies. Is there some unwritten rule that Black men (under the guise of Black hypermasculinity) are all tops (penetrator)? Plenty of men who are otherwise tops/vers tops, want to bottom for Black men…and are not timid about how they choose to communicate it. It is my belief that this relates directly to the stereotypical assumptions made about Black male sexuality and potency.

What I love about the politics of versatility: 1) no one wants to allow people to identify as such because it’s easier to box gay men into the top/bottom dichotomy 2)everyone’s decisions on when to “switch” are informed by something different. 3) you watch as gay men run away from being labeled a bottom (misogyny is alive and well) so they claim to be versatile instead. But even when we do operate in the dichotomy of top/bottom, why do I see so many individuals become complacent in racist, sexualized roles whereby sex becomes all about domination? Is this part of a larger conversation on sex and power? Either way, the point of the story is not all Black men are tops nor are they the mandingo your porn mandates them to be.

Men of color are not sexual, erotic, or “exotic” objects here for the disposal of other (read: white) men’s sexual aims. Men of color are not to be reduced by another’s ignorance surrounding intercultural exchanges, including the sexual. For the record, if a man of color permits you to mistreat him, that does not make it acceptable. In the same token, just because your friend says its okay for you to project racial slurs upon them doesn’t make that right either.

As I’ve battled having to fight stereotypes about my own identities and choices, I’ve since realized it is symptomatic of a larger issue: ignorance. Who I choose to be with or sleep with is my business. If anyone should know that, it’s queer communities. So if you’d like to reduce me to “chasing chocolate”, “only dating Black men” or whatever else…you’ve got some issues to work through, honey.

Interracial dating, sex, exchanges should not be thought of as places of “racial reconciliation” where some type of healing takes place. By that I mean, just because you fucked a Black man does not mean you’re any less racist than you were before.

Johnathan Fields is a DePaul University alum with a B.A. in African & Black Diaspora Studies and Philosophy. His areas of interest include: media representations of race, gender, and sexuality in popular culture, Black feminist theory, Diasporic literature and critical race theory. He is also the latest addition to this site’s family of contributors. For more information, visit www.adventuresofaboxcutter.com

The post “Chasing Chocolate”: A White Man’s Tale of the Interracial Sexual Politics of Gay Male Communities appeared first on Madness & Reality.

by JuJuBe (Joanna)

I love pornography. I have loved pornography since the first clip I ever saw. I believe I was 12 years old. I went to my friend Josephine’s house, and her brother invited us into his room. An on his TV screen was a couple going at it. I was fascinated, and could not get enough. Yes, I was hooked on porn from day one.

I had a conversation with a man last night who told me he could not understand the purpose of porn. Not me, I have always loved it. the dirtier the better. None of that romantic, “female” oriented porn with elaborate story lines. Nah, I like to watch people just plain going at it.

Pornography has always been about fantasy for me. I enjoy watching people do things on camera that I have always been interested in, but have not had the balls to try (yet). I also enjoy watching people engage in sex acts that kind of disgust me enough that I do not want to try them myself, yet turn me enough that I want to watch someone else engage in them (like bukkake or water sports).

And I absolutely refuse to watch “fat chick” porn. I mean, if it is about fantasy, I want to go all the way, and fantasize I am someone else entirely. If I wanted to watch a fat chick fucking, I would just install a mirror on my ceiling. This created a little difficulty in the past, because my ex and I both loved porn, but he only wanted to watch fat chicks, and I did not have any desire to see that shit!

I started out watching your ordinary boy meets girl, boy fucks girl, boy and girl go on their merry separate ways. I remember watching through the squiggly lines back when you could actually see the scrambled image on the channels that were blocked on your TV. And when we had a descrambler hooked up to the TV, I would sneak out of bed late at night to watch the Playboy channel. With the volume turned off so no one would find out about my porn addiction. I remember watching soft core straight and lesbian sex on “Electric Blue” and just thinking there was nothing better in the world.

Then, I lost my virginity I started to live with my first boyfriend in college. Our sex life was good, but rather pedestrian. Just your basic missionary style in and out type sex. I mean, it was effective if the only goal was to achieve a minor league orgasm, but my fantasy sex life had so much more depth and appeal.

My first fascination with taboo sexual acts started when I first learned about the idea of anal sex. I just KNEW that anal sex was the best thing since sliced bread. I did not dare attempt it. But, it became such an obsession that I began to collect pornography featuring straight couples having anal sex. Until my Dad found my flicks when I returned home after college. Not only did he find my stash, but he had to make a special point of laughing at the types of movies I owned. And he threw them all away. I was so humiliated, I was glad to see them go. I never wanted to be put in that embarrassing circumstance again. At first, I tried to resist the lure of pornography, but it was like a siren song calling to me. I just had to find a new hiding place for my collection.

As the years progressed, and I experimented with new sexual activities, my taste in pornography grew a little more, let’s just say, exotic. I remember sitting on the computer for 48 hours once looking at pictures and movie clips of everything from anal sex and bondage, to gangbangs and “extreme penetrations”. I printed up about 50 pornographic pictures and kept them under my mattress to view in the privacy of my bed at night.

Eventually, ordinary pornography was not enough for me. Now, in order to really be excited by a pornographic movie, it has to include certain elements that are more “extreme”. First it was anal sex. Then threesomes and group sex. After I actually fulfilled those fantasies, (yeah, I got a little freak in me) I became interested in bondage and sado-masochism. Some sort of experience that I have had only in my fantasies is always most appealing to me.

Now, I am getting tired of main stream pornography, because I have pretty much done all of the things I have fantasized about doing. So, now I lean more towards “fetish” pornography that includes bondage and pain. I am still kind of scared of experimenting in my real life with those more hard core things, as I do not have someone I trust enough to experience them with. So, for now, I just stick to watching scenes of other women acting out the things that I can only participate in in my own mind.

Of course, I say all the time that certain things are meant to be fantasies only. But, to be honest, there is a lot that I would be willing to experiment with if I had a trustworthy partner. There have been many fantasies that I watched acted out on screen for years before I had the guts to try them myself. And nine times out of ten, I enjoyed the new activity as much or even more than I imagined I would. So, anything is possible. Maybe in a few years, I will be talking about how much I love real life bondage or S & M. Hey, you never know!

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Ok, so my first introduction to Carl Paladino was when I read about his wonderful idea of transforming New York prisons into poor houses training centers for welfare recipients. He is an ultra conservative millionaire businessman. He is a Tea Party backed candidate. He is now the official Republican candidate for governor of NY. He is quite an interesting choice for a party that claims to have a lock on morality and virtues.

Not surprisingly, given the recent Republican party shenanigans, their new candidate for governor has been proven to be a racist. His email history was included messages he had forwarded of a blatantly bigoted nature. One showed a group of Black men in front of an approaching plane and read “Run ni%@a, run”. Another portrayed Michelle and Barack Obama dressed as a pimp and a ho. Yet another showed an African tribal dance, and was labeled “Obama Inauguration Rehearsal”.

Other emails were sexist and just down right perverted. One contained a video labeled “Miss France 2008 Fu#@ing”, while others featured nude women. And the kicker? He sent out a video of a horse having sex with a woman. Ah, yes, family values. The moral high ground. The Republicans sure have a lock on those, as evidenced as their choice of candidates. (Oh, and did I mention the party that tried to impeach Clinton for getting a blow job just nominated a candidate for governor who has a child from an extramarital affair?)

As for the issues? Carl Paladino has stated that the “Ground Zero mosque” is a “symbol of conquest” and says he will use laws of eminent domain to prevent the Islamic Center from being built. He has stated that global warming is a “farce”. He has vowed to completely shut down the state government if the budget is late.

Now, luckily, NY tends to be a heavily Democratic state, so Paladino has virtually no chance of actually becoming the governor. But how scary is it that people would actually cast a vote at all for a man like this??

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So in Washington DC yesterday they voted and approved gay marriages; way to go DC not giving in to the pressure from the black church! But ironically on the very same day world renowned Televangelist minister Oral Roberts dies at the age of 91. Not trying to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but is God trying to tell us something here? I mean is this his way of promoting “Oral” sex? I’m sure the kids at Oral Roberts University would like to know as well be cause the fate of them becoming a noted party school in America rests on this information. Yeah I know that wasn’t funny but I had to go there… sue me.

But since I’m already there I have to ask this next question. Since God doesn’t like homosexuality of any kind per the religious fundies among us, does he get pissed off when hetero-minded people engage in oral or anal sex? By chance was that rule on that piece of rock Moses accidentally dropped and broke? I mean I’d like to know because the last thing I’d like to happen is to be standing at the pearly gates and getting turned away by the bouncer because, well, you get my drift. I mean the Christian Porn genre hasn’t actually taken off just yet as I think it should so I’m curious.

And one last thing: am I wrong every time I hear the term “pearly gates” and the image of my wife’s vagina comes to mind? I mean that’s my version of heaven and I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the idea of other people lining up to get through those gates. So can one of you bible thumpers clue me in on some of this stuff in my head today? Inquiring and horny minds would love to know, and hopefully one of you can help me out here because that whole Missionary Position thing is hella old and I think having to pray before sex would be a major downer.

QUESTION: Would you be comfortable with your partner wanting to pray before sex?

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Now, I knew the economy was bad, but I had no idea it was this bad. I mean, when all else fails, sex will always sell, right? I guess I was wrong, and its obvious this economic meltdown is taking a serious toll. Somehow I can’t help but to think that Karrine “Superhead” Steffans must be happy she wrote a book.

“The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.” “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.””With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”READ MORE HERE

Now, like a lot of people, you’re probably tired of people asking for bailout after bailout. But when you have nowhere else to turn, but to the gate keepers of this whole mess, what do you expect. All jokes aside, I think they should be bailed out; give them the $5 billion. The financial industry got one, and so did the auto industry. I mean who’s gonna be next: drug dealers?

Hell, back in September everyone was crying “what about Main St.” Well, here it is; Main St. has come a knocking (no pun intended of course). Hey, at least if the gov’t approves we can get an orgasm out of the deal unlike the screwing we’ve taken thus far from the banking industry after they got theirs? Instead of the now infamous Spa Days those CEO’s got, we the people will continue to be gratified by the usage of midgets on film; I’m sure they’d appreciate it; that sideshow at the circus thing must be old by now.

Besides, its hard enough finding jobs as is for regular people. Adding a bunch of unemployed, “I only have a GED , but I’m still paying for my breast implants” chicks would be devastating. Sure they could probably go back to stripping, but who in the hell has money to tip or make it rain these days? Shoot, the Dallas Cowboys just cut Pacman Jones, and Elliot Spitzer don’t frequent the scenes like he used to, and those closet freak republicans are all now in hiding. And besides, chicks are gettin naked for free on Myspace. If anything, they should bailout the porn industry to help Mr. Marcus. If they don’t, I sincerely doubt that brother will be able to find another job which will allow him to wear a hat 24/7.

Oh, and speaking of porn…

In thought this was funny….

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I’m not mad at them because if they didn’t, well, lord knows how much more sin we’d have in this world. I know being a virgin and giving birth is miraculous and all, but I doubt any of you would believe the chick on Maury who says that she was a virgin mother. Thats one episode that I’d like to see. I gotta admit, it’d be kinda cool seeing 10 dudes all hear “you are not the father” after they admitted that they had sex with the chick who claims she was a pregnant virgin. Oh well, so much for that ever happening.

The latest virgin Mary sighting happens to be on the cover of Playboy. Yup, thats the cover above. It would seem that there is some controversy over this model being depicted as The Virgin Mary. This illustration was published on the Mexican version of Playboy magazine, and people are losing their minds. I could understand that happening because the country of Mexico is largely catholic. No wonder people are against Mexican immigrants coming to America.

Now when I first saw this, I never drew the Virgin Mary connection. I just thought it was just some hot chick, and never gave any thought as to what she was wearing. Truth be told, I just thought it was some middle eastern porn version of Playboy. I’m serious! Do you think people in the middle east or the holy land don’t jerk off or more appropriately, masturbate?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t see this as a big deal. Hell the publishers of the magazine even said that it wasn’t their intent to carry a virgin Mary depiction. But its to be expected, people gave Kanye West a hard time when he did the now infamous Jesus Christ crucifixion pic even after he said it was a work of art. This is what I call art, and as you know, art can be interpreted many different ways. Having said that, I think people need to chill the fuck out. Hell, even it it was an intentional depiction of Mary, you gotta be happy in knowing that those horny readers upon seeing it would give their lives to Christ, especially for God creating such a fine specimen.

I can only wonder if this was released in America if it would be a big deal. The combination of catholics and religious right wingers bitching would be a deadly assault. Shit, I just wanna know why they don’t pitch a bitch whenever Mary is found on a potato chip. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think this is just another example of the protection of the sanctity of the White woman. If this were on the cover of Black Tail Magazine, I doubt anyone would care.

QUESTION: Could you watch Christian porn? Wouldn’t it be cool to watch a porno flick where in the end there was a religious message and maybe the chick who just fucked like 6 dudes and got saved? Isn’t it the message that’s important?

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