Pure F%@kery: Man Arrested For Sexually Assaulting Dog

Ok white folks, lemme let you in on a lil’ secret. You remember how mad y’all were at Michael Vick and what he did to those pit-bulls? Yeah, y’all were mad as hell about the dogfighting, and him killing those poor innocent pit-bulls, remember? Well, I’m not sure if anybody ever told y’all, but us black folks didn’t really give a damn. Truth be told, while most of you white folks tongue kiss your pet dogs in the mouth, us black folks are afraid of them. Just sayin‘, what we look like doin‘ some shit like that, white folks? Hell, we seen photos; we remember them racist German Shepherds y’all used on us back in the day. So yeah, us black folk really didn’t care; and, we thought y’all were trippin‘.

Alright, now that I got that out of the way, allow me to introduce everybody to some purely unadulterated fuckery straight out of Memphis, Tennessee. I know some of y’all black folks probably read the headline; and yes, y’all probably laughed. Some of y’all black folks after reading the headline probably thought: “goddamn crazy-ass white folks and the shit thy do.” Well, go ahead and strike that one from your “crazy shit white people do,” list, because, well, check it out,

OK, so now we know that bestiality isn’t something exclusive to white folks. We also now know that white folks aren’t the only people who love their pet dogs. Clearly, from he above video we see a black woman distraught about what was done to her dog, Adam. I know some people do in fact treat their pets — especially dogs — like their children. However, this is just kinda weird to me.

She said:

“We wouldn’t have thought that somebody, I am just going to say it, raping my dog cause that is what he did, I had to tell Adam he didn’t do anything wrong. The man did something wrong.

[…] I feel like I let Adam down, that’s how you feel, as a parent, if you are a parent and your child gets violated like that. You would feel like you let that child down because you were not there to protect him…and that’s how I feel…” — Caroline Morris

Kimberly Lawson: Dog Rapist

Now I’m not currently a pet owner; though, I have had many pet dogs in my life. After watching the above clip, I wondered what would my reaction be if this happened to one of my dogs. Would I be as emotional as the lady in the story? Would I feel like someone violated one of my four daughters? More importantly, does it make me a sick bastard for not really giving a damn that Adam is now “acting funny,” and may need to see a therapist after his ordeal?

Forget answering those questions, folks. Lemme just tell you that I laughed my ass off at this foolishness. So if that makes me an unsympathetic fat fuck, then so be it. To me, there’s something to be said about this woman’s reaction. Even more hilarious than the fact of the accused being a man named Kimberly, is the fact that the “victim” in this, though a dog, is also male. So here’s the question: could it be that the accused and victim in this case are both gay? Further, could it be the realization of owning a gay dog, proved itself to be a bit much for the owner? I know finding out your kid is gay can be devastating to some parents. But who knew the same would apply to a pet owner?

However, this is just another example of why “us” black folks aren’t a monolithic group. I know we all say that when it comes to racial stereotypes. But, I’m pretty sure since we’re post-racial now, when y’all hear some crazy shit like this. We’ll stop asking whether the perp was white or black.

Yes white folks, we do ask that question.